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When you don't like your coworkers…

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  • #64437
    Mandy
    Participant

    I have two coworkers whom, I confess, I dislike. I know it does not do anyone any good for me to feel this way, and that the best way to combat dislike for someone is with loving-kindness and forgiveness. But my emotions have a tendency to get the better of me.
    I understand that I do not have to allow their negative actions to affect me; but it is much harder for me to let go when I feel others around me are being mistreated.

    Have you ever had a coworker whom you constantly saw not doing his or her job well, and treating clients/patients poorly or without care? What did you do about it?

    #64473
    Matt
    Participant

    Mandy,

    Without knowing the ethics of your profession, its difficult to say. If it were me, I would patiently introduce the person to the arising mutual affliction from unkind actions (such as action without kind attention hurts self and other), perhaps see if they were experiencing stress fatigue or burnout, maybe offer some help. If that wasn’t possible, or they were unreceptive, I would bring the behavior to my supervisor, and then let it go.

    Grass grows, people mistreat each other, the suffering in the world is all around us, what can we do but try to bring light? As we let go, set down the gavel and sword, their actions inspire a better performance from our own heart. Such as seeing an elderly woman being mistreated can inspire anger toward the aggressor, or empathy for the elderly. Usually not both. 🙂 If we let go, accept both sides but rest more in the empathy (especially if we’ve exhausted all the paths we can see that might resolve the issue), our next interactions are a little softer.

    In practice, such as for a doctor relating to patients poorly, as you see the exchange going poorly, without tender care, your heart goes BLEH, but it also remembers, does a better job of bringing light and love where it can to honor the moment of pain it saw. Its OK to trust that, rest with it… like playing the cosmic “long game”. 🙂

    Our ripples of love and kindness (skillfully applying our warm intentions), in my opinion, more than make up for whatever we saw that inspired our anger. Hopefully they’ll get it one day, learn the lessons, and if we can help, great. If not, we can move on, protect our own sensitive spirit. We can sigh, find someone that wants a hug, and give a good one. 🙂

    With warmth,
    Matt

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