Hi Tony,

Definitely complain if their work affects your work badly OR if you have to do more work by picking up their slack.

Other than that, all I can tell you is: People DO know how the rest of them are. The boss knows. The managers/supervisors know. The clients even know.

If their work or lack thereof doesn’t affect your work, keep doing what you would do ANYWAY. A good job, done with consistency and mindfulness.

Best,

Inky

Dear Tony:

Problem: co workers who do minimal work, calling in sick while you do a lot of work for the same pay. It is unfair.

Solution 1: complain to some co workers about the other co workers. (not effective)

Solution 2: work less yourself. Call in sick sometimes as well (when you are not sick).

Solution 3: talk to a (hard working) supervisor, if there is one, about the unfairness; ask for a raise for doing more work.

Regarding #2: in some jobs, if a person does not use sick days, he/ she gets paid for unused sick days at a certain point, which makes it fair.

If indeed you get paid the same as others while you consistently did a whole lot of work and they did very little and no one pays attention, rewarding you for your hard work, then you feeling some anger is understandable, as we do have a need for fairness. If the value of your hard work is making a profit for the employer, and the employer doesn’t care that you are trying so hard, not compensating you for your hard work, then it makes sense to me to … not work that hard.

anita

Hi Tony,

There is a difference between complaining about people maliciously (what we’d call gossip- complaining or being degredatory for it’s own sake/entertainment) and having a justified indignation if – from an objective perspective – others are not fulfilling their jobs, or else are but have workload much less than you. I’ve felt the same thing; if someone is being employed to fulfil a role or a goal and they aren’t this (in my mind) is broken in the same way a cog in a watch can be.

Complaining is fundamentally a form of ventilation – you’re releasing the pressure, this is normal and healthy so long as it’s done with someone trustworthy and isn’t going ‘along the grapevine’. It’s important though that you are dealing with the issue itself in the way it needs to be; if you are overworked or your colleagues aren’t performing your manager needs to be dealing with this. If your manager is reluctant to resolve such an issue it could be your frustration is a reaction to a cultural issue in your company.

A final important thing is the role of perception; there are people I’ve met who’ve *always* believed they are overworked, underpaid, undervalued etc. and some people who’ve always been oblivious to how little they contribute. Personal pride, parental example, whether you are more conservative or free-flowing etc. can all change where you view yourself. Make sure if you are judging your colleagues that you are being objective; ‘what really *are* they here for?’ ‘what realistically is the expectation of them’. And bear in mind that it’s easier to judge workload and contribution in some work environments to others; it’s easy to measure the output of a stock operative moving boxes, it’s hard to measure an office worker where one project, decision, deal, may have vastly varying impact or work associated with it.

I hope this has helped; I wouldn’t say having complaints itself is an issue – it’s a natural response to something not working (so long as you’re being objective) – it’s important that you resolve it the right way.

James

I could just play all relaxed like they appear to, or to just play dumb and not do things.

That maybe what is known as a Fool’s Choice – These are false dilemmas that suggest we face only two options (both of them bad), when in fact we face several choices.

You can live your truths as you know them, doing your job the best you can because that is who you are without judging, labeling, comparing or imagining how relaxed others appear to be in how they do there work. All this imagining seems to be the source of much of your frustrating.

This Afternoon I went for a walk to a local coffee shop. A man was nice enough to hold the door open for me however I was preoccupied and didn’t acknowledge him with a thank you. The man in an tone a voice that to me indicated annoyance let me know with a load “Your Welcome”

The man of course could not know I was thinking about my mother who had recently past and instead perhaps imagined I was being rude and would teach me manners by a reminder with the ‘Your Welcome”. Perhaps in that moment he needed validation… Of course in that moment I was also imagining I new what the man intention was.

I won’t lie a part of me was embarrassed for my failure at not being present and angry at the man for pointing it out. So we had a moment that was likely negative for both instead of a moment that was gracious for not real reasons

Maybe we were both right – I was being rude and he was only holding open the door to be noticed for his good manners.
But
What if the man could be happy holding open doors for others, not to be thanked, but because that was who he was?
What if I could be grateful for someone holding open a door for me even in those times I’m not fully present. why should we imagine we “knew” what the other intent was and so change a moment of grace into something else