Hi Choccoffeewine,

I quite frankly told him that if all we had to talk about was the past, then we had no reason or need to contact each other anymore.

I think you have already made it clear through previous messages sent to this fella that you have moved on and no longer wish to continue communicating about the past. It’s not cowardly to stop talking to someone, after all, you have already given notice. It would be different if maybe you two were close now, but the intimacy and relationship you had with this fella was a long time ago. So i think you have already provided the kindest way of stating “no more”.

disrespectful (he would send check-in messages every couple of months

It is not your fault that this fella keeps messaging you. He clearly hasn’t understood what you ‘implied’ or ‘what you meant’ when you were being honest with him. Though, if you stated that you didn’t want to continue to dwell on the past, i don’t know how more honest you can be! OR it could simply be that he has understood, but wants to try anyway. If you don’t need him in your life, i would just discontinue messaging him, don’t even look at the messages (since they show whether or not you looked at it) and if he is that annoying, block him. It’s not disrespectful, IMO. If you have been honest and been straight with him (as you have stated you have) then it’s on him, not you. Even if they are just check ins, there is no ‘commitment’ to this relationship.

I hope this helps, if you have comments or questions, pleas continue this thread 🙂
MAtty

• This reply was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Matty.

Hi, just quickly…

I found myself in a similar situation and wanted to be “nice”. They do NOT take the hint, and trust me, they have gotten it, they’re just not taking it. And that is disrespectful to you. They will constantly test your boundaries. Remember that radio silence IS a response. Sure, it will be awkward the third (fourth, fifth) time he tries to communicate with you, and he hears nothing. BUT he will seem ridiculous even to himself and will eventually stop and move on to another victim/blast from his past.

Drop the rope (radio silence) and he will move on.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Inky.