Yes i have sacrificed alot for hes growth, and i believe he has this great desire to be more than just financially stable as right now he doesnt have a stable income due to being an athlete. He shares hes plans and progress to work towards bringing in more income. so far hes been meeting up with a mutual acquaintance who helps build brands and she will be assisting him in putting him out there and providing him with opportunities, only uncomfortable part of that is this woman i have seen has great attraction for him and they have scheduled a twice a week meetup to work on building him up. Him and i have agreed to not see anyone or hookup with anyone until things are clear between us. And its difficult to know if he still has any love for me during this cold period of his. He and i both only have each other as this point as we share expenses in the house. he requested that when we go out in public that i dont engage in any indications of interest with other guys infront of him. I think he feels like crap because of the pain he is causing me and he feels he doesnt deserve to tell me not to see other people. I wanted to go study but i fear he may decide to just discard me and i will be left with nothing, so i have to keep my study savings just encase he decides he wants out. I feel a little insecure and not good enough because of his unsatisfied nature within his life. I have been there for him when he had nothing and when things werent going good for him and now he feels that a relationship causes him to get too comfortable and he cant be comfortable at this point in his life due to not being who he wants to be financially. Im starting to think he spooked himself with pressure of marriage and kids because he sometimes refers to me as his wife and he always talked about being a father but both of us arent ready for that step in our lives. So a man who thrives off feeling like a provider and a success… failing and not having motivation to take action is his life has led to this horribly uncomfortable and stressful faze.

Our family and friends dont know we are on this break, and he is known to be the protective type towards me even during this weird faze, i disappeared for a weekend and didn’t tell him anything of where im going and i refused to answer his calls or respond to his messages which led to him freaking out and calling my friends and family. i felt he needed to feel what its like not to have me around and not know what im doing.

Today he wants to go see a movie… these little things we do together is what confuses me especially when im just looking for peace and hope of him coming back.

He battles juggling emotions, he is very one track minded. and when he goes on self discovery fazes he shuts hes emotions down and avoids vulnerability. He is the type to be territorial over me when a guy shows interested in me. And recently there was situation where a guy unpleasantly tapped the back of hes neck while greating him and glanced straight over and grabbed my hand and kissed me on the cheek. My boyfriend who was already feeling insecure within himself didnt take that well and he admitted to thinking about that moment days after it had happened. Little things he wasnt succeeding at took a knock in hes confidence, ego and made him feel demasculated… which isnt good for a man who fights for a living, something had to change and thats what i feel hes going through now. i am a very loyal and trustworthy girlfriend, i dont make my man look like a fool by entertaining other men. So my loyalty and reinsurance wasnt enough to fix hes inner insecurities.  We would argue about little things like remembering to do certain things and hes at home more than i am so i asked that he takes initiative to tidying up so that when i get home from work dont have to do everything. We are stubborn people so we would argue to get the other to understand how what they said or did made them feel a certain way, and arguing about taking responsibility when its due to avoid unnecessary prolonged negative emotions. but none of our arguments have gotten to breaking point. I am a very emotional person and i am very open with my feelings. i display love and affection endlessly. He is very manly but also a goof ball, he isnt the type to display softness but with me he becomes a baby and loves my warm gentle love. We on a break but he still does daily things for me. He says he needs to be alone and cant be in a relationship right now but no real action has been made to move out on both our sides. he still routinely fetches me from work and drops me in the mornings. he brings me coffee or tea and encourages me to eat (battling to eat due to the emotional stress). he talks to me all the time but its cold and emotionally distant. He knows im in a huge amount of pain but he cant make me happy if hes not happy.

Yeah it seems he still does quite a bit that involves me. A man who didnt give two hoots would have distinctively pulled away in doing all those little things he does for me. He is aware that i am still hurt and he would of run for the hills with all the emotional distress i threw at him last week. He got overwhelmed when i kept sending emotional texts and trying to get close to him but he has remained respectful and he sort of behaves like a best friend. i have learned that the more i try pull him closer, the further he tries to push me but the happier and more content i am the more hes drawn to me. I have to admit that i am not the same girl he met 2 and a half years ago, ive slacked down tremendously when it came to working on myself and i dont mean in the physical sense but more as an individual. I havent been growing and bettering myself and if he is on a growth path and i stay stuck in my same ways, it wont excite him to get back with me. Raising the bar on my values and my self worth is only making the steaks higher for him to lose. Creating an amazing women out of this  painful break is not only going to gain much respect and admiration from him but also raise my standard of what im willing to accept when in a relationship with someone whether it be him or anyone else. Its very difficult to keep focused on the positive and not get drawn in by the absence of what we use to be. I want things to just happen naturally, Him and i are very compatible and attracted to each other, the less pressure i put on him to commit to a relationship with me the more drawn he will be to take me off the market. as a man it cant be easy to witness a woman you love be on the market because thats what it initially means when you take a break or break up. I am not ready to meet a new guy or emotionally connect with anyone just yet but he needs to see that there is a risk of other guys noticing the great qualities i have.