Home→Forums→Relationships→whats really going on with my boyfriend and he's gay friend?
- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 4 months ago by Anonymous.
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August 23, 2018 at 12:42 pm #222783sunnycloudParticipant
hi, i wanted to start that I never expect my self looking for this specific theme.
I have a situation with my relationship. My boyfriends gay friend is inLove with him and he doesn’t realize that. there is so many things that make me realize that.
1 they see each other once a week to drink in a bar, when they do and get drunk, my boyfriends gay friend starts complementing him in front of me , like his handsome, touching his arm ( in a way that makes me uncomfortable), looking him with this in love eyes. start making inappropriate joke
2 he had a picture of a naked guy that looks like my boyfriend and even he shows the pictures to everybody. and he start saying DOESNT HE LOOK LIKE HIM???
3 he told my boyfriend that he heard that i was dating one of his friends a couple of times( guy that I don’t even know). obviously lies.. don’t know what was exactly his intention.
4 he invited my boyfriend first to an island and a week after he mentioned and then he invited me .. ( last minute) obiously my boyfriend didn’t go.
5 he always pays for everything, dinner, uber, all the drink in the bar ( most of the time). I feel that he try to makes him drunk all the time, to the point that im scare. I have nightmare s with that
the worst part is that my boyfriend almost ended up super drunk.. taking an uber from his place.
6 he gives my boyfriend expensive gifts in his birthday
7 when i meet my boyfriend parents i felt that it was a competition between me and his gay friend. he was all over been super nice to his mom, buying her drink etc.
8 he talks about he’s sexual life in front of us and even talk bad about he’s closer friends (if he is like that no wonder he talked about me.
9 when I go out with them he always said omg you are so beautiful, my friend looks so happy since he’s been with you ( so he lies)
10 one time he got a new haircut and he was like OMG YOUR BOYFRIEND DIDNT NOTICE MY HAIRCUT.
I know is ridiculous to feel like that. i know my boyfriend is straight but makes me really uncomfortable this situation to the point that I even have nightmares
I recently fought with my boyfriend because of him.. after he started put in his mind that I cheat on him with a guy that I don’t even know. I told my boyfriend everything that he’s friend is involve with him, jealous of me …that thats why is is lying… of course my boyfriend believe that I didn’t cheat on him because he know I love him and Im with him almost 24/7 …
but at the same time my boyfriend thinks im crazy that he’s gay friend is not involve with him and that he would not stop his friendship. my boyfriend just said that is the way he is.
In the end I didn’t ask him to stop his friendship just to don’t even mention his name in front of me. im really pissed because what he did, lying like that is just a bad person act. a good person don’t do that. or even if is true that he heard that he could asked me .. or be moire polite asking that.
now im scare because i know they will hang out again and that he always will be talking bad about me. Im scare he will ruin my relationship.
I have 2 really good gay friends and they are so nice and they are not irrespectful like that at all. so i don’t understand why this guy is like that.
August 23, 2018 at 1:54 pm #222789MarkParticipantsunnycloud,
I would worry that your boyfriend 1) does not respect and trust you enough to take in your concerns and 2) that he is not discerning enough, i.e. blinded that his gay friend is duplicitous such as lying about your non-existent cheating and dating his friend.
I would be concerned about his friend ruining your relationship. I really don’t have any ideas about how to deal with this except to talk honestly with your bf, perhaps even show him your post and what I said about his trust and respect of you and how shady his gay friend is.
Mark
August 24, 2018 at 11:14 am #222885AnonymousGuestDear sunnycloud:
It may be as simple as this: your boyfriend’s friend is infatuated with your boyfriend and your boyfriend likes (as so many of us do) when anther person “always pays for everything, dinner, uber, all the drink if the bar..”, especially the drinks in the bar, for one who likes to drink.
And that uber to take him safely home after a night of drinking.
If the situation is as simple as this, then your boyfriend is not l likely to listen to what his friend says about you, nor does he care what he says.
Are you concerned that the friend will take advantage (or did) of your boyfriend, sexually, when your boyfriend is drunk?
anita
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