Hello freespiritwonder – I love Inky’s advice, and I’m adding my two cents here as well.

First of all, something’s wrong with this picture if you’re calling a person a best friend, but your friendship doesn’t sound like it. So maybe question that friendship in your own mind – what are you getting out of this friendship that makes you want to stay in it? I understand you love her, but you can have love in your heart but not necessarily bring in the toxicity. My advice would be to slowly start detaching from this person and see how that might improve your own thoughts and self-esteem. Start surrounding yourself with people who support you.

And to your second question about how to achieve your dream despite all those hurdles, I’d say start taking baby steps toward the vision that you have in your mind. There is power in that first step – action gives you momentum that you simply cannot get by envisioning alone. What one thing can you do today to take a step closer to your vision? Keep asking this question every morning, and take one small step everyday. Pretty soon, the path becomes clear, the obstacles start moving out of your way when you get to them, and you’ll be well on your way to living your dream!

I hope this helps.
Namaste, Saiisha

Dear freespiritwonder:

Inky’s post above is hilarious- love it! (One of those I would incorporate in Best of Inky’s, Inky!)

As to your posts, freespiritwonder, what I see is that you and your friend are both jealous of each other. I believe there is nothing wrong or shameful with how she feels or how you feel. There is probably a valid message in those feelings of your jealously, one that if you figured out what it is, you could feel nothing but empathy for yourself. For example: I wish I had the animals she is having. I wish I could afford them because I am loving and want to love animals….so you may feel at first that you are a bad person for being jealous at your friend but when you look for the message in the jealousy, you find that you are a loving person that wants to share her love with animals- and that is an indication of a good person, a loving person.

You stated that your frienship with her used to be good but is changing and you want it to be like it used to be.

You also stated in the last post that “anything like this or you point her out on something in the kindest ways possible all hell breaks loose and she gets extremely nasty.” This is a problem – the way bigger problem than the jealousy, as I see it. It makes you “so i dont bother raising things anymore that bother me, i have to watch what i say cause over any little thing its taken out of proportion”- so it is a communication killer, her exploding in nastiness. When this is the dynamic, where do you go from there?

If this dynamic was not there before and is there now, it is the main problem, I believe.
anita

Anita and Inky – Love the conversation here – real or comic 🙂 and I agree with both their advice!

As always, this is never what it appears on the surface. And I think, in this forum, with the help of Anita and Inky, you’re starting to explore what’s really going on between you and your friend, get deeper toward the core of what the true issue is. I’m not sure if having it out with your friend at this time is a good idea yet. If I were in your shoes, I’d dig deeper into your feelings, reactions and beliefs first. Once you’re clear on where you’re coming from, then it would be easier to address it with your friend – especially if you have specific topics to bring up.

So, do continue asking these questions that Anita suggested – ask yourself “where are these differences actually arising from?”, “why am I annoyed when someone steals my ideas?”, “what is that feeling / emotion that comes up from within?”, “could it be possible that the qualities I’m seeing in her are qualities that I may not be recognizing within myself?”, “what is the lack I’m feeling in this situation?”

Self Inquiry is a great way to dig deeper and deeper until you feel like you’re getting the true answers from within, from your inner voice. Don’t settle for surface level responses that your mind provides – try to get to the bottom of what’s the real lack you may be experiencing.

Thx!! 🙂

I think when we’re young, everyone’s pretty much the same. Then as we get older, our personalities really come to the forefront ~ sometimes not for the better. She’ll be this way as much as people let her get away with it.