I hope someone can give me another perspective on this, or maybe I’m just looking to see if I’m wrong or right. Ive been dating this guy since March and we have had a lot of ups and downs since the beginning. I don’t want kids, he does, i am not completely oppose to the idea and therefore we decided to give it a try. Back in July, for the 4th he was acting a little strange for me, he was checking too much his phone and taking it with him more than usual,so that day when he went to get food I went into his facebook account and there it was. He had been having very inappropriate conversation with this girl that he used to date. I confronted him and broke up… but then he kept insisting and calling and emailing and texting and I gave in basically. However, I feel the trust is gone. I feel Im in a roller coaster, some days I feel I trust him, some days I dont. After that he said he deleted her from all social media and he doesnt want to talk to her. I learned that he has done this with this girl while he had other girlfriends. what puzzle me the most is why they are not dating, apparently it has been bad timing. I told him he should give them an opportunity and told me he didnt want to be with her. So last weekend (Sep 24) I checked his history – i know, i know, please dont judge me, I KNOW I have trust issues – and he googled her name. I know this may not be like a huge deal, but I just cant understand why. I felt this was the beginning of him going back to old patterns. He used to have sexual conversations with a lot of girls, hes very insecure and hes also a recovering alcoholic, and he use the sexual conversations as his fix instead of alcohol or drugs. I dont know what to do. We get along very well but what happened in July was very disappointing and hurt me a lot and now I feel Im just very defensive and try to find out if theres something going on before I waste 4 more months with this guy. Im not sure if Im right or wrong. I know it was wrong to go through his stuff but if I havent done it he would probably continue to do what he was doing. I believe people change but it takes time, he told me back in July that he changed, tadaaa! just like that, he was a different man and he wanted to be a better man for me and for himself. Back then it was hard for me to believe him, people dont change in one day. So I dont know what to do. I dont know if I dont have enough self respect for myself and just walk away. I sometimes think what would I say to me if I was my friend, I wouldnt understand why I am still with him, after all that humiliation why I was still trying to make it work. But its easier said that done. Its hard for me to make decisions, its hard for me to be alone and I know that has a lot to do with the situation that Im in right know…