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What do you think? What would you do ?

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • January 2, 2016 at 1:05 am #91163
    k8tyB
    Participant

    He was an hour late for dinner on Thursday night, he didn’t apologise or offer an explanation and when I asked why he just said …I thought you said dinner was going to be late anyway.

    January 2, 2016 at 7:43 am #91166
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi k8tyB,

    I don’t know how old you two are, but I would definitely not get married yet. The reason being once you’re married, the rest of your life will be “Where are you? When are you coming home? What are you doing?” Not in a nit-picky way, but just so you can function in your life!

    At first blush it sounds like he was doing something utterly dumb (playing World of War Craft for example) and he would rather not admit it to you! Yes, he could have been talking to someone else, but it’s just as likely that he was doing something else online OR he just wanted a few hours to unplug and chill out.

    If that is his attitude, then he is too young or not ready to be married.

    I would lay off him for a week or so. But if he does this again, that is his nature, and you should have The Talk. The “Let’s Get Married When you Are Grown” one.

    Best,

    Inky

    January 2, 2016 at 8:23 am #91172
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear k8tyB:

    I tend to be suspicious, pessimistic and think of the worst AND I believe that many people do and will “live up” to my pessimistic expectations of them. I mean, it happened and keeps happening all over. When I am optimistic about a particular person, I make and exception for them.

    So… his being online for an hour after you said goodnight, I would ask him too. And I would be suspicious as well of the answer. If he was talking to his sister for example, why wouldn’t he tell you that? Why not just SAY what it is he was doing?

    IF in the past he told you he was talking to a family member and you condemned him for that, or if he told you he was doing something non threatening to you in reality, but you blamed him for it, then I would understand his reaction. Otherwise.. suspect!

    anita

    January 3, 2016 at 9:15 am #91203
    Kaye
    Participant

    If he’s got secrets now, imagine what the rest of your life’s going to be! It doesn’t bode well….

    January 3, 2016 at 4:02 pm #91217
    k8tyB
    Participant

    Hi Inky , thank you for your reply . I’m definitely not going to get married soon as I really don’t want to be the nagging …”where are you ?” “what are you doing?” kind of wife . He said the question was inappropiate, untrusting and out of order and didn’t deserve an answer to which I said that I didn’t agree. He said if I come at him the way I did by saying he blatantly refused to answer the question he won’t tell me who he was talking to and what it was about. He also said calling him blatant made it seem as if he was doing something wrong.
    I must say that I went out for half an hour after trying to talk to him yesterday and when I got back he was better and started saying he was on the phone with a friend overseas. The whole thing left a very sour taste in my mouth and I didn’t quite believe him then??
    I know right Anita !!! why not just SAY, I really didn’t expect the reaction I got which leaves me feeling rather suspicious and i really, really dislike that feeling 🙁
    And Kaye thank you x

    January 3, 2016 at 4:27 pm #91222
    k8tyB
    Participant

    I think we will be having ” The Talk ” 🙂

    January 3, 2016 at 6:26 pm #91233
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear k8tyB:

    Post again with an update, please!
    anita

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