Dear Lindsay,

First of all I would like to congratulate to post you story. It cannot be easy to expose yourself like that; I think it is very courageous of you.

I am not a recovering alcoholic or drug addict so I won’t be able to advise you on that section. Please forgive the parallel I am going to make between your addiction and what was mine. They are not the same and mine was far less intense.

I was a smoker for about 18 years averaging more or less a pack per day. My wife and I didn’t want to raise our first child in a smoking environment we decided to quit smoking. We have tried three times before actually succeeding.

The first time we tried to stop gradually but it didn’t work because the slightest problem triggered a smoke and since we hadn’t stopped properly we kind of slowed down to finally get back to smoking the same quantities.

The second time we tried to stop totally from one day to the next without getting mentally prepared and it lasted 3 days.

The third we understood we needed a plan so we took our time, got advices from here and there, read a lot. We finally decided to go with a 5€ method (Allen Carr Easy Way To Stop Smoking) which was the right move since we haven’t had a smoke for the past 13 years. And yes I do feel like a good cigarette from time to time but I have the choice to do it or not.

Ok I know, you are probably thinking it is only cigarette and not heroin and that I shouldn’t compare one with the other. You have a point but please bear with me, I won’t provide you with a solution but maybe a direction.

The key to your success is a good preparation, you must plan when you are going to stop, how and prepare for the future and the cravings.

Allen Carr was a very heavy smoker and successfully quitted smoking using the method described in his book. His method is very simple, while you are planning, getting ready to quit and reading the whole book carry on smoking. The book itself talks about how bad smoking is for you and your entourage and it contains loads of other facts. So basically while you are reading the book Allen Carr is planting new perspectives about your smoking habit and although you knew most of the facts reading them over and over through the book is like a brainwashing session. By the end of the book you are still smoking but you definitely want to quit for sure.

How does this relate to you? To me you seem like a functioning person with a serious addiction. Your goal is to get your daughter back and get that “true happiness and pure, untainted joy” again. It will come with some drawback “the bond that’s formed by getting fucked up with someone is just way stronger or more enjoyable than the bonds i make or feel when I’m sober” no more stronger and more enjoyable bonds for some time at least but this is all for your daughter and you.

You are motivated, those subs help you, they are good in the sense that you are not shooting (breaking the gesture habit). It’s one step but you need a proper plan now!

On one road there is you, your daughter, your mum, your health, that “true happiness and pure, untainted joy” and just the regular life you are aware of, no drugs.

On the other road there is an unhappy soul, a poisoned body, some stealing episodes, money problems, lies and drugs.

I know which road you’d like to follow, who you’d like to be and what you’d like to do. Go to you mum look at your daughter and plan everything with your mum. Plan, plan, plan.

Decide when you are going to quit for good.

Plan to go to detox again.

And most importantly plan for after the detox, plan differently, get busy, don’t stay alone too often. Also get rid of your friends who are still using, get rid of their phone numbers address and do not meet with them ever again. You know that you will fall off the wagon if you still see or hang around with them. Plan and anticipate for those difficult days when cravings hit you hard, plan A, plan B, plan C, plan D, plan E. You must have at least 5 backups; they can be safe people and/or safe actions. The more plans the better. Heroin cannot be an option!

You will not succeed if you do not prepare yourself for the future and if you do not take radical measures like stop seing those friend. Again it’s all for your daughter.

Once clean, at first you will feel like the regular life is not exciting as it used to be, that it is dull and that it would be good to get some of those chemical. But you have the choice to say no, because of your daughter, because it is not you anymore. I know it will be tempting, even just once, but once you have decided to quit it is forever and not once should you try again. You always have the choice to say no and to run away, your one and only goal is your daughter. Through her you will find again joy, excitement, life. It’s not about you anymore it’s all about her and for her.

Now what?

Get in the mood to quit, start reading, get interested in it, shop around for a good detox clinic, go and visit those clinics, get involved, feel the excitement of the change that is coming. Let it grow so big that you will have to set up a quitting date, stick to your plans like a robot would do. Make a pledge to quit for the rest of your life.

Get a sponsor, consider hypnotherapy (get someone good, do you research).

You are now walking in the same direction hand in hand with your daughter and that’s all that matters.

Wish you all the best.

Hello!
I am an addict as well but my poison is meth.
I started slamming it four years ago. I was going through a terrible time in my life and the high was the only escape I felt I had. I successfully quit and stayed clean about 6 months at a time. So I would always be high in say April until around September. Then be clean again. I wasn’t until I was able to remember how shitty life was when I was using that I was able to stay clean. I experienced some life changing moments in my high years but it also made me realize what I value and what I can do with out.

Hello,

Just wanna send you my best wishes and congratulate on your determination to end this cycle…I know you will make it. I have never used drugs, but I know a thing or two about physical type of addiction, and it’s not easy to have one. And I would never dare to judge anyone who has it. Often our strong will, logic and determination will fail to overshadow our body screaming that we lack of ‘something’, and it’s much harder to fight the body than the ‘psychological’ addictions like ‘shopping and gambling. I don’t think there is easy path toward total detoxification and coming to the point that our body is ‘filtered’ from the ingredient that we got used to. So whatever you do, prepare yourself mentally that there will be some suffering involved and that you can only help yourself to relief the symptoms to some point. Focus on your goal through those days… Never read stories or forums in the hard days about people who ‘cant do this’, how they suffer.. Read about successful cases, convince yourself- if they could do it, I can to… See the light at the end of the tunnel before you reach there

I got very severe case of anxiety and panic disorder few months ago, conditions I knew nothing about at the time. And because I lived in isolated area where going to counselor on daily basis was not an option, the fast solution was prescribing me bromazepam, which did miracles at the time, I got better in 24 hours!! Felt wonderful, I was happy again!! Just like that, over a night!! But it is in the most addictive group of medication. It gave me the clarity, though, to learn and deal with the disease better for 2 months (so I understand why sometimes it is needed). I haven’t abused the prescribed dose, and now I am cutting them slowly as doctor advised, but withdraw symptoms are worse that the initial anxiety… The first reduction, I couldn’t sleep 5 days in a row, felt like screaming in middle of supermarket, and got supper depressive the next second… But at least I knew about this, it’s the drug, not the disease causing it, and was kind of ready. I secretly wished I didn’t start such treatment though, I don’t know what to think now, did I really do my best?… I am fine for now, my body is used to the new very smaller doses… but I have 2-3 more steps of ‘reduction’ to go through.

I agree with dotcom1, I know cigarette and pill addiction is probably nothing compared to heroin. But what we try to say is that it’s a long road to real recovery, we have walked through or still walking, different stuff work for different people, and sometimes you have to try different approaches, even combined, till you find the right one. Patience and mental preparation is the key..And not loosing your focus. It won’t be easy for some time. But ‘magical’ drugs that work in minutes take their big toll with them. They turn you to their slave, and you build your resistance, take more… (In my case Big Pharma wins…lol 🙂 ) Sometimes in order to get really better for good, you have to get worse first 🙁

I learnt so much though this, to be honest! I can write a book I think 🙂 Just read about supplement called Inositol (it’s kind of a vitamine, no side effects), which is is extremely helpful in dealing with in lots of stuff like anxiety and depression. I’ve even read that heroin addicts use it too sometimes when they wanna cut, in blend with other things. I take high dose of magnesium and b-complex, and omega 3. In my case also, vigorous physical exercise helps too (releases endorphin!!) .. I hate sports, but I’d rather run for an hour than have 5 panic attacks in one afternoon :). And in any case, human support is essential also (sponsor, a group, psychologist).

As I said, it’s a physical addiction, chemistry that tricks your brain is involved. And you have to trick your body and brain too, supply it with ‘serotonin’, ‘adrenaline’, ‘endorphine’ and whatever it lacks through other ‘channels’. It’s not the same, I repeat, but try anything that helps, preferably with a plan that reduces the addictive ‘chemistry’ to the point where you are free of it… I am sure there are ways that will work for you, and you’ll be one of the many successful stories. Don’t be discouraged cause you fail sometimes and have setbacks, most of the people dealing with addiction do.

I focus how I wanna be my old self again, not depending on some pill to be happy. I love life, I trust life…As you, I have a lot of reasons to live for and be grateful for. Just think of all the happy moments you will share with your lovely daughter! I hope in some time we will get back here and write ‘we did it’! 🙂

Thank you anita, and may I add you are doing wonderful job here…

I am aware about the need of very gradual tapering, I am doing that definitely. My first reduction was 33% (wanted to see if I can handle it, cause everyone responds differently from what my doctor said), but next one would be much smaller (no more than 20% from what I read). I only take them for two months,also under doctor’s supervision, and very small amounts (3mg per day now). I feel much better, and things are different now for me, I have (another) doctor and psychologist just around the corner, unlike 3 months ago, where I could barely reach professional help. Gives me enough comfort just knowing that 🙂 I would like to start a thread in some time when I finish all this, and maybe help more people who are dealing with (also this kind of) addiction.

I find it helpful for now when I focus and talk about things that make me happy, I think there is nothing more therapeutic and helpful than doing something you love with joy. LidseyLou, if you read this too, don’t forget to bring some form of joy in your life, through following a passion, interest, sport, some form of art, maybe forgeten talent that waits to be re-awaked…. I have read many amazing testimonials about people that found their salvation from various problems like this…

@anita,

You asked about my story, you can find it here: https://porniskillingme.com/porn-addiction-story/

I have been clean since my first NA meeting in 1983. A lot of people will disagree with what I have to say here, but its true. The key to getting and staying sober is massive amounts of meetings. I went to 3 a day the first ten years. Now I go to about 10 a week. I just see that correlation.

But you gotta make it like going to the club. You gotta get involved with individuals there. Take them a cookie, loan them a book, flatter them. Make some anchor friends that you will look forward to seeing there. Make it fun.

I go to various halls and lots of their events. I take donuts and laugh it up with the guys.

Its my home away from home. And this works absolutely. Start watching the guys with 20 years. They come every day. But you are new, you need several times a day.

And if you do that, the old-timers will see that you are serious and buddy up to you.

You can do it once or keep screwing around.

There is never time to do it right, but there is always time to do it over, goes the old saying.