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very sad and broken over love

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  • May 2, 2016 at 5:17 am #103357
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi dom,

    Is it possible that subconsciously you sabotaged yourself because life with your BF was “too good”?

    I don’t know, I would contact him and apologize PROFUSELY. Say that instead of getting your crap together this breakup has done the opposite, actually. That you made a terrible mistake. Tell him you totally understand if he still wants to keep his distance. (It is possible you will get back together at this point, but DON’T be surprised if he keeps his distance.)

    Then maybe (I would give it time) next year invite him to a party or for coffee. Start over as actual friends.

    Then who knows?

    Best,

    Inky

    May 2, 2016 at 8:01 am #103367
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear dom:

    You wrote about your ex boyfriend: “He was the only person in my life who I could be myself around, who I could talk to, who I had a close relationship with, who listened to me, who helped me.”

    Maybe, as you were invited (by him) to be yourself, you felt the anxiety that is in being yourself. With people who you have a superficial relationship with, you are not confronted with your fears much as the interactions are on the surface of things. In a deeper relationship, the anxieties from deeper inside come to the surface and you feel a combination of comfort and intensified anxiety. So you ended the relationship to do away with the anxiety and now you miss the comforting times.

    Am I correct in part or in whole?

    anita

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