Gosh i didnt think of that .. i dont know if it is that, i have been feeling so good, and then as soon as those thoughts came through i just couldnt help it..

When will i ever feel safe to feel happy again?

Blessings

Ally

Hey Mark,

Thank you for your advise 🙂 I will definitely google that and see what it is all about.

Alexandra

Hey Anita,

I dont mind whatever name you call me by 🙂 Practice in not making external situations or people be the only cause of my happiness or my sadness. To not depend on others for MY happiness ! This is something i need to practice to do on my own and make sure i can make myself happy, this way no one else can bring me down. Its very hard though and its a 29 year old habit.

A little update of what happened this morning: Woke up after a good nights sleep so overall i was feeling good, he sent me message in the middle of the night that i only read in the morning when i got up, that he had a feeling something wasnt write and a sad face next to the message. I woke up and sent him a lovely positive message and also asking what was wrong and if anything im here to talk if he needs me. He woke up saying he tossed and turned all night but he was fine. I am used to him not talking about his feelings he hates it and doesnt tell me a lot of things, sometimes i must say it is me worrying too much and i will ask  him again but if hes there in front of me i can tell with his reactions if he really is hiding his emotions from me. By text message its very hard to decipher what he actually means, he said he was about to get ready and i mentioned it again, well i hope everything is ok. He said goodbye and that he was going for breakfast. He comes back about 30 minutes later saying: ” i had to come back to the room to clear things up as this is really bothering me, can you please stop what you are doing, as this is not caring its really annoying. I love you speak later xx” I was shocked at this.. when did caring too much become a problem, or can it get annoying sometimes? I was so hurt yet so angry and i replied saying ”wow…ok. love you too” and then continued to have a go at me for not ending the messages with kisses. I honestly dont know where the hell i went wrong i am so so upset. In the end i always apologise just to keep the peace, but i wont this time, i honestly feel i did nothing wrong. 🙁

Dear Mark,

I journal every single day, it doesnt help me much in the sense that i look back at what i wrote and it makes me happy, Journaling however helps me to get out my frustrations.

Blessings

Hey Mark,

Yes he is taking it out on me, i know when i have done something wrong, i do always tend to be the one that apologizes in the end just to keep the peace, but this time i stood my ground.

I have always kept a journal/diary and i find that when i am angry i will vent out in there, sometimes i think its better to keep some things to yourself.

Blessings