I honestly don’t think he was PURPOSEFULLY trying to cause harm to me, it’s just who he was rob everyone literally everyone. I was just the only kid from the family that wasn’t his own. And I don’t think he knew I wasn’t taking his comments as “funny”. He was always making comments to my grandparents my parents strangers everyone. That just weren’t funny. Like  I always had nicer things than he could get his kids and he would just make comwmtbs like “oh danielle would never shop at Walmart she’s too rich” etc. and I didn’t like that. So I always avoided being around him because he would tease me over the dumbest things, and I guess that day I just exploded I was over it, which lead to me crying because I was so fed up and annoyed.

Hours later and I am still anxious about what you said lol. Omg. It makes me so anxious that something in my situation you feel uncomfortable writing online. I keep overthinking everything you said and I hate that can’t interpret it.

Anita,

I would never want you to believe that your help and input was for nothing. There have been a countless about of times where you have brought light to a dark situation and clarity just where I needed it. You’ve taken me from pure panic, to peace. You’ve helped me understand a lot of things that I did not.

Regarding yesterday… please do not take any offense to that whatsoever I just really could not interpret what you were trying to say. And the fact that something in my situation made you feel too uncomfortable to write on the internet made me panic because I really had no idea what you were thinking. You’ve written so many difficult things for many people and had shed so much great light, that I am confused as to why you can’t do the same without having the power to “give other ideas to harm”. I was just curious as to what part of my story gives you pretty strong validity that nothing happened so maybe I can see that insight as well and realize “she’s totally right, how couldn’t I have noticed that before”.

The only thing I can think of is that from your understanding you said the fact that I can remember facts surrounding that day, I would’ve remembered that day/”possible incident” as well. But when you mention something about giving ideas to others etc, I got all confused because I wasn’t sure what in my situation could even deal with intentional harm!

Absolutely Anita. I understand the direction you were going in. That my story doesn’t relate so how a typical possible “bad person” would act so you feel that is very unlikely. So you were scarred that by saying how he didn’t act “XYZ” that would be giving people ideas. I completely understand and again overanalyzed what you were saying and had absolutely no idea what direction you were going in.

Thanks for the clarification & thanks for all your help and understanding with this situation. You are amazing and your help never goes unnoticed! I know some of the topics mentioned on this site are difficult and you always find a way to help us understand. I know my post is about a sensitive topic and that’s what makes my anxiety so much worse. That my OCD is on a very sensitive topic. That’s why I just want to rid of it.

I’ll probably have to go back to my therapist, but for now I just want to enjoy the holidays and hope you can do the same! 🙂 so happy early holidays Anita!