So to put things into a nut shell, my spouse whom I had been with for nearly 10 years and had a child with, had an “exit” affair (started off being a long distance relationship) a year ago and we got divorced last year.
It was a very traumatic experience, as we lived together in the same house for a few months after discovering she had someone
else in the picture, and she would talk to that person in another room for hours while we were living together. I was still in love with her at that time and it was emotionally devastating to go through, I pleaded for her to not do it but her response was that we were done and I had to get over it. So night after night I’d be in our bedroom crying and she’d be laughing in the other room talking to the other man.
She prematurely introduced my son to the man and went as far as having our son recording good night messages to the man while I was in the house. It was painful to see that happening.
She even got my son to start saying “I love you” to that man only 2 weeks after introducing them to each other.
It was very heart-breaking for me to see her manipulating our child and bending him however she wanted to benefit her new relationship. Betrayal was an understatement.
She did a lot of things that were quite malicious and almost seemed like she was trying to just replace me fast. She even went as far as to trying to get our child to dress like her boyfriend and look like him in appearance.

I thought there was a chance of reconciliation even after our separation but she was checked out. She initially had the idea of taking our child outside of the country to go live at her boyfriends but backtracked on it I believe because she knew I would go to court if she tried.
But I was running around like a sprint runner and anxious through the roof thinking my son would be taken out of the country, I was in that state for about 3 months until she told me that her boyfriend would be moving here.
It all happened extremely fast. They were living together only a few months after our divorce was final.
Less than a year after that, they got married. The wedding just happened and brought out much grief in me.
It brought out memories of our wedding, of the family we used to have, the things we shared and the companionship that was constant.
After the divorce, one of the hardest things to do was accept that I’d only be seeing my son half the time.
It was something I had such a hard time coming to terms with.
I didn’t want to miss time with him.
Letting go of that was very very hard. Letting go of the idea that I can’t control what happens on her time with our child was tough.
I couldn’t believe she would settle for seeing him half the time. She was always impulsive in her decision making.
So as I mourn the loss of our relationship, lots of life questions came up, lots of what do I do now moments have come up, questions about my life’s purpose and mortality, my faith, impermanence in this life (this one has sort of upset me a little).
I’m just dealing with a lot.
And on top of that, she is now moving an hour away, our custody won’t change because her husband will be driving him back here for school as they promised, but having that distance between me and my son has been heavy on my heart.
How can I move forward? How can I be at peace with my son being that far from me when he’s not here?
I’m trying to let go of the idea that we were supposed to be together forever.
Please, any words of encouragement and advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, anyone, everyone who does, thank you, love you all.