Here’s the thing lukas-kovac: no matter how good someone seems to be for you on paper, all the good reasons to be with them are worthless without real, solid chemistry. It’s cheesy, but it has to be right.

I understand what it’s like to feel pressure from family…it makes it harder to listen to your own voice. It sounds like you felt a lot of pressure, and being literally trapped in the same flat probably added to that pressure for the year you were together. Whether or not it was intentional, Julia definitely put pressure on you. Anyone in this situation would feel stuck and unsure. There was never the proper time for courtship, pursuit and an agreement to have a formal relationship.
Everyone’s different, but from my own experiences I can say (as a woman) that without the proper time for courtship/dating
things can definitely move too quickly. I’ve found myself in a situation where I’d been seeing a guy for 2 years and one day woke up to realize I didn’t even love him. He only saw me as a role to be filled because it was ‘time to find someone.’
Things were so rushed in the beginning it eventually came back around. It always does.

What I did to move on was eventually I accepted what happened and missed my Ex less and less over time. It didn’t happen all at once, but slowly. Then I met my current boyfriend Matt and I completely let the past go…because he’s so much better than anyone else I was with. My ex was a good guy, a smart and nice guy….(People said we were good together,) but he just wasn’t the one. I knew it in my bones, and I’m sure he knew it too.
Now when everyone sees me with Matt they can see we are both very much in love. We’ve been talking about our future together, it has all been very fun, happy, carefree and natural.

You should never feel like you have to TRY and fall in love with someone. If you have to try then it isn’t real. The process of falling in love takes time and an open heart, accepting and without expectations. When you go into a romantic situation with expectations for how you want things to turn out, you miss the essential step of seeing someone for who they really are. You and Julia were probably best suited to be good friends, and I’m sure you had a real genuine care for one another. But things happen between platonic friends sometimes, and its easy to get confused. (Then again, I could be wrong. I wasn’t there.)

Just trust yourself! If she’s the one, you will know it to the core. The best way to find out how you really feel about her is to find a place of stillness and silence in yourself. Let everything go, practice self forgiveness, and allow your mind to be at peace. Meditation, exercise and deep breathing over time will help. It might take a while but be patient. Don’t act on these feelings of guilt until you really know where they’re coming from.
If she’s the one you will know.
If she’s not, it’s ok! She will move on and so will you. There are so many people in the world. You never know when you meet someone if they could be the one.