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Total Nightmare!

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  • November 6, 2014 at 4:28 am #67420
    Inky
    Participant

    This is so over the top that you have to cut and clear from the past completely. As you said, the issues each by themselves one could conceivably deal with but now they are all convoluted and compounded.

    1. Gender Issues ~ It’s really hard for a girl to be involved with a guy who is (to her, suddenly) confused/gay/trans/alternative/etc. For a relationship we tend to like it black and white. How can you stand by your man if your man might not be a man, you know? I know I’ve offended dozens of people in dozens of ways I’ve never thought of, but that’s how the average woman will think.

    2. Social Services?? OK, when social services are ever called, it is government sanctioned kidnapping. 9/10 times the call is made because of a vendetta, but the law still states that the family has to be investigated. It is no joke. Imagine a 19 year old government worker deciding if you deserve to raise your own children. Once again, the average person will go bat-s*** crazy with fear, upset and paranoia. When people’s family or children are being threatened and they don’t know who your true friends or enemies are, they will do outrageous things.

    3. Wait, why were you actually called into the police? Was this before or after the social services debacle?

    This woman clearly views you as a threat, an enemy, someone not to be trusted. She is suffering more than you are (believe it or not) from anger and fear I would please leave her alone once and for all.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
    November 6, 2014 at 4:51 am #67423
    Inky
    Participant

    P.S. You don’t need the other people to get Closure. You can only give yourself Closure. Do a ritual of some sort to mark this life chapter’s ending.

    November 6, 2014 at 5:26 am #67424
    confusednortherner
    Participant

    Hi Inky

    She knew that there were issues before we got together so wasnt going in completely blind to the whole thing. I know how much that can hurt and completely scramble things up. When ever she asked I always tried to give her an answer, even if I didnt know the answer myself at the time. I was always upfront and honest and it clearly got lost in a mix of emotions and cross fire that would be a massive reason to destroy things.

    Yes, Social Services were sent a report which involved regarding her, her kids, her mum, the kids dad and their family. I have no idea whatsoever as to who did that and why. I was as mortified as she was probably ( i have no idea!) having been a dad to her kids for the best part of 18 months it felt like it was an attack on me as well, even though I was no longer part of the relationship. Who would do something so utterly cold. I still cant believe some actually did it!

    However because it is clearly malicious then all eyes are pointing back to me as the ‘rejected’ party. The amount of ‘friends’ I have lost over that is now approaching 20 or so as the rumours and backlash is massively over the top and no one will actually listen to what I have said or believe me. I know it’s trite, but I really havent got a bad bone in my body and the whole thing is immensely perturbing.

    The Police were involved over the letters ( 3 sent over a 3 weeks. none malicious or threatening or anything that could be construed there as), then the social thing happened and then another letter (which had got lost in the post and I informed the Police multiple times over this ) turned up and I got arrested.

    It’s layer after layer after layer creating a completely false impression and is clearly affecting us both. The stupid part of me wants to work out how is possible to calm the situation down before one or both of us ends up in Jail or charged ( she’s got kids remember!)

    I haven’t spoken to or seen her, written, texted or whatever since August. I actively dread bumping into her anywhere because all of this, because I fear actually seeing each other will cause escalation. I want to try and untangle this mess in my own head as well as calm things down. I have left her alone, done nothing, yet become the focal point of her and her families vengence when it is completely and utterly mis-directed.

    What kind of ritual? I’ve tried all sorts and it’s still affecting me as there were ‘shenanigans’ as late as yesterday afternoon. I’m trying to move on but am getting sucked back in because I am the focal point of that anger.

    November 6, 2014 at 6:14 am #67426
    Inky
    Participant

    Oh dear.

    OK, I don’t know what your spiritual leaning is or how open you are, but a ritual – or prayer – for Protection would be vital. Before that do a ritual – or prayer – for Clearing. You want to Clear, Protect and then Bless. Anything you find in a book, online, or through a spiritual advisor that you resonate with, do.

    Another thing is to move. Even if it’s one town over. You can still get to work, but be much less likely to run into people and get a clean start. A new beginning!

    Lastly, I would find the most gossipy person you can think of. Tell your side of the story. Trust me, the truth that you were caught in the crossfires will reach the majority of your social circle.

    Oh, and pray earnestly that the person who called Social Services gets found out ~ they always seem to eventually.

    Unfortunately your letters and the social services call plus the breakup was terrible timing.

    November 7, 2014 at 12:07 am #67468
    confusednortherner
    Participant

    Hi Inky

    I’m pretty open I shall try the ritual and prayer.

    I cant move as Im tied to owning a house with another person. I am however making massive life changes in the interim

    As for gossipy person I have pretty much done all I can. All I can hope is given time that people forgive and forget and that Im able to restablish some relationships

    I hope so.

    I wish ( note wish) things were so different. As there may have been some chance at salvaging a friendship out of things rather than this complete mess :/

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