Too Poor For College, Parents "Too Rich" For Financial Aid

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This topic has 8 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by Christopher.m.

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April 14, 2015 at 12:04 am #75278

Crystal
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Hello
Let me give some background information
My parents have been bugging me to go to college and it’s been emotionally scarring me the way theyve put pressure on me about it.
A couple of hours ago I actually called a college and set up an appointment to talk about the scholarship
but apparently , as I filled out a calculation thing on the site, my parents make “too much” for me to qualify because my dads military incomes.. for a scholarship and I’d have to pay 16,000 for this degree plan. and be in debt when I graduate…

The thing is, my parents make a certain amout of money over the required ammount , but we actually never have money. we can’t even make money for food and our bills our terrible and my mother is horrible at paying taxes so we’re in debt so badly…

Then my parents screamed at me to not go “GO TO COLLEGE, BUT DON’T GO BECAUSE WE DON’T HAVE MONEY, BUT GO ANYWAY” it doesn’t make sense.
I had a panic attack and fought with them. They gave me such stupid explanations and I feel like I’m trapped

I don’t know what to say to this school tomorrow but I really deserve that scholarship. I don’t have money. I can’t find a job . I don’t know what to do. I’m so screwed . I guess I could say I don’t want to go to this school…
it just isn’t fair that so much of my friends that are middle class have a good amount of money to live and have a life and eat and enjoy things and go to college, when I have been really poor since I was little .

Im so stressed out .

April 14, 2015 at 5:32 am #75284
Inky
Participant
Hi Crystal,

Oh dear.

Frankly, I’m seeing that your parents did a poor job in making a college fund when you were a baby, AND for poor money management skills. It’s like they raised you but not really. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s your parents didn’t do a good job “launching” you. Let me put it this way: My daughter’s friend lives ABOVE A LAUNDRY MAT and her friend still goes to college!! Yes, it’s a State school, so they’re paying half, and she did get a small scholarship, but still.

I’m not going to lie ~ going to college is literally ten times harder financially than when I went. (Maybe that’s why that family chose to live above a laundry mat, because they knew this day was coming ~ seriously!!) But there are: State schools, scholarships, community college, trade schools, work abroad programs, online schools.

And here’s a dirty little secret: You don’t have to go to college to be successful (unless it’s in the Math and Sciences). You can still: write a book and get it published, submit magazine articles, start your own business, make connections, travel, “marry well” (don’t tell anyone I said that), work abroad, get certifications, etc.

If you do go to this college, at least everyone else is in the same boat. The whole college racket is a bill of goods. The institution is about to crumble. You have come of age in the beginning of the revolt!
- This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Inky.
April 14, 2015 at 5:40 am #75286

Inky
Participant

Oh, P.S. being “only” 16 Gs in debt is actually a good deal in this Racket.

April 14, 2015 at 11:45 am #75309

aerlian
Participant

Hi Crystal,

If your parent are unwilling to support you, and will attest to that in writing, then you don’t have to list their income on your forms. That would increase the likelihood of receiving financial aid. Also a lot of schools give tuition benefits to their employees. Any chance of picking up an admin/office job there? It takes a lot longer to get a degree when you’re also working, but it’s definitely do-able, and you’ll owe significantly less when you get out.

There are ways to do it on your own, but you have to keep an open mind and search out all the possibilities. Keep looking even when one option doesn’t work.
best,
aer

April 14, 2015 at 8:42 pm #75321

Seventy
Participant

Before you make a commitment as large as college, can I suggest you sit with some deep breathing for a few minutes and ask yourself-the deeper, stiller, truer part of you, if this is your truth. Does this feel, in your innermost being, beneath the worry, the should do’s and being told to do’s, the best and most fulfilling, rewarding and fruitful path that will grow your soul and enhance your experience of this life you’re living?
Would it be possible to allow yourself some space, devotion, love and understanding to allow the universe to meet you where you are with the path you truly want and need?
Would it be possible to allow yourself to notice what, big or little, makes you feel joy and focus some attention on those things?
There is no need to rush dear one, allow yourself to flow with the river of life, allow the experiences you need to come to you. Sometimes the harder we push for something we perceive we want, the more elusive it becomes.
We are very fortunate that no matter what path is taken, we can always make changes, re-write the script and take a new direction. When feeling pressure, be not afraid to take the pen and write your own story as you go, the story that enables you to grow into your authentic self, your authentic life, that is meaningful to you. This is an essential rite of passage when growing into adulthood, the step into independent thinking, decision making, and being is yours to take. May your truth be known to you.

April 15, 2015 at 8:31 am #75345

Martina Weiss
Participant

Crystal, have you asked yourself what YOU want to do with YOUR life? Do you want to go to college or is it just your parents? If this is not what you want, then please don’t do it. I mean, do it, get into debt, spend your time on things you are not interested in – if you want to become really unhappy in your life. I’m sorry to be that harsh and direct but this is just how life works. Don’t live the life others want you to live. I know you are afraid to disappoint your parents if you don’t fulfill their wishes for you, and this fear probably comes from you being dependent on their love to you. However, learn to give this love to you yourself, so there is no chance for others to put you down easily. I really wish you living a life YOU dream of. So please, do what you love, it is your life.

April 16, 2015 at 2:16 am #75399

Julie
Participant

In your situation IF you decide to go to college, you will need to get student loans. Unfortunately, the US has not figured out yet that if they make education affordable, everyone will benefit. If you are not interested in going to college then don’t do it. You might be interested later. I went back to college in my 30’s and got $ from my employer to fund it, I make a pretty good living as a Registered Nurse.
Also, I agree with the above replies that $16K is not that much. My son paid $30K for his undergraduate degree and is now paying $47K per year for medical school. He is 23 year years old and already owes over $100K So when he finishes he will be over $300K in debt. BUT, he WANTED to do this, he made the decision and I actually tried to dissuade him. As’a nurse and I know how hard the type of doctor he wants to be will have to work.
So, soul searching seems to be the way to go. If you don’t have a degree or career path in mind then maybe you should wait it out for awhile. If you are working and taking care of your responsibilities then I think you SHOULD wait until you know what you want to study.
Your parents probably just want more for you than they had. My boyfriend is career Army 27 years so far and it is a rough life for a family. He is gone all of the time and the pay isn’t that great. Your Dad probably thinks he is helping you by giving you a push. Ultimately it is only up to you. Since they are counting your parents income, you must be under 25 years YOUNG. Take your time!!!

April 25, 2015 at 9:56 am #75775
Kelsey
Participant
Hi Crystal!

First take a deeeeep breath… You have plenty of time to figure this out (college will always be there when you’re ready!) The best question to ask yourself, is what you really want to do with your life. If a college degree is necessary for you to achieve your dream then go for it! It’s completely normal to not know what you want to do, but college is expensive and it’s important to invest your energy into something that’s in line with what YOU want.

I decided to take a couple years off after graduating high school. I worked as a nanny, saved money and traveled the world. This was a better education than any I’ve ever earned in a class room. Once I got to college, I had direction and knew exactly why I was there. I did graduate a couple years later than my peers (23 vs 21) but because of my experiences abroad, I appreciated my eduction and was much more competitive to the grad schools and jobs I applied to.

Now for finances: I too have gone through a similar situation with college. I was raised by a single father who had an income that was too high for grants yet too low to really pay for my tuition. He did the best he could by helping me pay for my cost of living, however tuition was up to me. It wasn’t ideal and I had to take out loans, but I went to a state school that wasn’t too pricey, got merit based scholarships for good grades and worked part time at a hospital for extra money. It wasn’t always easy, but I think it was worth it!

It’s easy to resent your parents for not planning ahead, but just try to understand that they care for you and want the best for you. They probably made many mistakes in their lives and might be afraid that you will go through the same difficulties as they did. They are truly just doing the best they can with what they have right now…

You will be SO much stronger because of this…“One of the Secrets in Life is to Make Stepping Stones out of Stumbling Blocks.” -Jack Penn

Wishing you the best on your journey!
- This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Kelsey.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Kelsey.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Kelsey.
May 1, 2015 at 8:17 am #76028

Christopher.m
Participant

For $16k I say go for it… That’s not alot of money and can be easily paid off.

You have to spend money to make money.

College will expand your horizons greatly…just have some sort of idea what you want to do after. Alof of people change their minds during undergrad.

I’ll be honest. I’ve never met anyone without some sort of college education that has been successful financially. Statistically speaking you’re going to be earning a low wage and have a low standard of living… At least college gives you a chance go break out of that cycle.

Maybe consider working and going to community college for 2 years prior to making the plunge and going into debt. That’s another viable option.

Namaste
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