Hey everyone! I’m new to the block but I really need some insight on a current situation.

So I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for over a year. At one point he lost his job (which he didn’t reveal to me until 2 moths later). When asked about it he said he didn’t want me to think he was a bum. I recall giving him money on two occasions to help him pay his bills. In the meantime he worked two part time jobs while job searching. He basically went 6 months before he found a job in his field. He ended up staying with a friend for 6 months when his lease was up to help him save money while he was trying to get back on his feet. I ended up helping him get his new apartment because his credit was not good and the money he saved he used for a trip for a friend who got married.  It pissed me off but I helped any way.

He was at the new job for approximately 7 month when he was fired.  When asked why he continued to talk about how his manager didn’t like him and how he was doing things without consulting her.  When I thought about it, I realized he had been let go of the job before the new one because he couldn’t get along with the manager.  I later found out before he met me he was let go from a job because he got into it with another employee.

So at this point, I don’t feel sorry for him and I’ve began to pull away.  For someone who struggled to find a new job I don’t understand why he would get himself fired.  I work extremely hard, I save my money, I have excellent credit, I invest and I’m currently looking to buy a home.  This is really becoming a burden to me because he wants me to support him and be there for him but I really don’t have time for his inability to do what he needs to do to stay employed.  On top of that, he has children (I don’t).  He’s been upset with me recently because he feels that if I’m going to be there for him then I need to get out of my own way and do so.  His attitude lately is making it tougher for me to deal with him. It’s almost to the point I don’t want to respond to his text messages. I have done things such as making sure he has groceries and taking him out to get his mind off of things but it doesn’t seem like it’s good enough. He’s taking his frustrations out on me, the one person he has.  I’m sure soon enough he’s going to ask for me to help with bills/rent and I’m on a tight budget while trying to find my first home.

The entire  situation has been hard to process. Last year, I stuck by his side and made sure he was ok. To see him get himself in the same situation has me thinking that he’s irresponsible. He said he doesn’t know why his life is this way. In my mind, he’s not taking responsibility for his role in losing his job, AGAIN. I’m over the age of 30 and so is he. He’s actually older than me. I just think at this point in his life he should have so sort of stability. Being that I am stable and I eventually want a family of my own, how can I ever see that happening?