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thoughts vs reality?

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  • January 12, 2017 at 10:44 am #125108
    greenshade
    Participant

    Hey guys!
    Im suffering from what brene brown called a “vulnerability hangover”. I expressed an interest in something, landed the job, may or may not have stepped on a few toes while doing it (Im unsure?).Now I feel exposed and vulnerable because people know that I want things, which in my head is a shameful thing for some reason? I also feel like a fraud because I have no academic backing at this job, just a couple of ideas and I feel like I don’t really deserve it. How do I know if I’m really not going to be able to do this or if its just in my head?
    Thanks for listening as always!

    January 12, 2017 at 11:05 am #125116
    jon kirkham
    Participant

    Maybe you’re afraid? Afraid of not succeeding. Afraid of not meeting what you perceive as being expected of you?

    If it is what you want, as in if it uses more of your potential, if it causes you to learn new areas and aspects = more than a good thing. Continue developing and pushing yourself forward on your journey.

    I think i can relate, a little. I went from being at the bottom of my work ladder, to being a team leader. Was very afraid and felt like i was a last resort seeing as no other person in my department wanted the responsibility and to deal with the stress and pressure. But i only found that all i have to do is learn the people I’m in charge of. But that is where understanding and learning really helps.

    Oh and academic sides can be over-ridden by experience and the want to improve

    January 12, 2017 at 11:16 am #125117
    Peter
    Participant

    Interesting conundrum
    Does our reality create our thoughts or do our thoughts create our reality? Both?

    There is a hermetic saying as above so below as below so above. We are influenced and we influence,

    The question becomes a matter of consciousness and discernment. When are my thoughts influencing my reality and when is reality is influencing my thoughts?

    In this case I would say that your thoughts are influencing your reality. Which is a good thing as that is far easier to change.

    The questions you’re asking/telling yourself about your academic back ground and if you deserve the job are not helpful. You got the job and reading between the lines of I’m betting your very conscientious person so will always do your best. Perhaps one of the reasons you were hired. Of course doing your best doesn’t always mean you will succeed or not however worrying about failing, especially before you start is also not helpful.

    If you intentionally or subconsciously stepped on peoples toes that may be something you may want to reflect on. However again reading between the lines I suspect that is not something you would intentionally.

    So congratulations on the job, calibrate, be grateful, do your best and see were job leads you.

    January 13, 2017 at 4:49 am #125157
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi greenshade,

    No one asks for your academic resume. And if they do, they’re a jerk.

    And unless you make a mistake of epic proportions, you will keep your job.

    Those who would have your job should have been more assertive about getting what they want. You getting what they want may be a lesson for them. But they’re not going to say anything or they will be perceived as a jerk and be questioned about how come they didn’t go after the job themselves?

    The good news is the longer you stay in your position and the longer you do a good job, the more “legitimate” you will become. In their eyes and in yours as well.

    Congratulations! And have no apologies! For an ironic role model, look at Trump. He got in … and doesn’t care!! LOL

    Best,

    Inky

    January 13, 2017 at 8:22 am #125172
    greenshade
    Participant

    Hey guys! Thanks for replying!
    I guess Im really not used to putting myself out there, and because I actively asked for this I feel like I dont deserve it and at the same time I am even more afraid of failure then I normally am lol!
    The stepping toes thing was unintentional, someone thought I was questioning their authority while I was trying to learn from them.
    Your replies really helped guys, reframe, prune my thoughts, and work. Thank you!

    January 22, 2017 at 9:27 am #125904
    Erin
    Participant

    Someone with the academic degree may have the knowledge, but they might be shy or anxious. They may not have the ability to cope with stress (and without that, all knowledge doesn’t matter) and they may not have the assertiveness or aggressiveness to step on a few toes. You probably have the right personality for the job.

    Inky said you won’t lose your job unless you make a big mistake. I disagree: a lot of people lose their jobs without making a big mistake. The thing is, in my experience those people are the shy and anxious ones with knowledge. You’ll probably be fine.

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