Think I can make myself palatable to good women?

Anita, I do need to work on respecting others. Concerned about getting soft with the opposition though.

Also trying to figure out how to find time for everything. And, how to find decent prospects. Would actually like to have the option of having a family, but time isn’t exactly on my side. Really down about my failed attempts.

Probably should also practice being present in the moment more. Mind tends to have a lot going on, and I admit to not catching things when my mind wanders.

Even on my current travels, my mind wanders to what I know is waiting for work when I get back. This trip to the Canadian badlands also shows me a lot of what I have missed these last several years. So many different places to see, and I never took to time to see them. And, saw a lot of couples in the larger towns/cities, which really kind of drove home how lonely my life has been.

Saw something in Regina that made me ponder a lot of things. Just for the heck of it, I decided to go to a sporting goods store. Looked at their firearms/ammo section and commented about the interesting selection they had up here (lots of “vintage” large game calibres) compared to the Dakotas. I got a response from one of the people working there that made me wonder if I had grown horns and a tail. Apparently he had an extremely hostile dislike for Americans, even one who had just paid him a compliment about his store’s selection.

I learned a few things from that experience. Held my tongue and didn’t make a snide reply to his issues. More than that, I was thinking of the feeling I was left with in dealing with the guy, of how much I wanted to dissociate from him. Wound up asking myself how many people I may have driven away.

Anita.

I was thinking of how many I may have driven away with a similar attitude.

Will type more later.

Continuation of previous post — back in the States again, and have a real keyboard 🙂 Made a decision to not let the a** affect how I interacted with others. Found a lot of friendly people up there.

Had a great time. Coming back was a bit bittersweet as I also hate the end of trips. Was an interesting experience; things just clicked. Learned that some of the places I wanted to see were typically closed. However, at every such structure, when I arrived, there was somebody who could and was willing to let me in. When I wanted to see something, wound up getting there with enough time to see all of it. Never had that happen before where things just seemed to line up. Heck, even the border crossings were easy.

Not sure what to think of how things just fit together. In the past, things always felt “hard” and difficult. Working on trying to put together what conspired to make this trip as easy and enjoyable as it was.

Anita, with regard to your value comments, I guess that I have a bit of a different philosophy. I believe that there is no intrinsic special value in being human; i.e. we are all humans simply because our respective mothers and fathers were humans. To me, what makes the value in a person, beyond the possible potential to reproduce and continue the species, is what he/she does and does not do.

Anita, what I meant by that is that for all practical purposes, a surgeon has more value than a murderer.

Happened to run into the second woman today. She seemed happy to see me again. If making more changes to how I view things would help me win her over, I would gladly do so. Really drawn to her. Got a chance to sit next to her for a bit this morning. She is nicer than the previous woman.

Anita, regarding the value of people, it would depend on the nature of the offense and the nature of the specialization. There are a lot of ways to “murder” someone, including medical personnel giving overdoses of opiate type pain killers to terminal patients. Hospice staff OD’ed my grandmother with morphine sulfate for example. That would be murder by statute, but to me it was the best thing that happened to her at the time.

Not sure what you mean by the strategy comment. It seems like you are saying that I would basically be playing a game with her regarding respect?

Regarding her worth, she is educated and intelligent. She has a good deal more patience than I do. Her line of work involves trying to make people’s lives better. I do consider her to be a high worth person.

Actually, second woman is mostly irrelevant, she is actively dating a coworker of mine. Just found out today.

Anita, sorry, just really depressed when I wrote the previous post.

Children do have value in terms of potential. As they grow older, you can determine if they are valuable to society or not. By about age 6, you can determine if children are going to be psychopathic problems or not, per the developer of the pcl-r. This individual suggested removing such persons from society at that point.