Hi again :),

So, I’ve recently become more, shall we say ‘awake’.
Noticing patterns that have happened in my life and taking charge of changing them and myself in the process. The majority of the time this has been liberating and exciting for me, but also at times it has left me drained, sad and lonely.
I would just like a bit of guidance on my thoughts & feelings. I have learnt to become aware of them so much, that sometimes that can be a bit overbearing. By this I mean, previously if I were to feel any negative emotion I would push it away so I don’t need too feel it (productive at the time, but not so productive in the long run), now, however, I am learning to feel the emotions, sit with them and accept them, without making a story out of it. But I feel so overwhelmed sometimes with feeling these feelings, that a part of me kind of wishes I wasn’t aware of them anymore.
I don’t have them constantly, and I have positive ones 85-90% of the time, but as we all know, just one negative thought or feeling, could potentially change my mood (not to a great deal) & they always have more weight.
I have been reading books on self-compassion, and that when we feel negatively about ourselves or negative thoughts, to allow ourself to realise it, realise everybody suffers and give yourself love. But I am really struggling with this concept.
I don’t know if I’m expecting myself to say these things to myself and realise that I accept it and expect the feelings to subside straight away, so I am getting annoyed at the fact they’re still there?
Anyone dealt with similar thoughts/feelings?