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The Next Level ???

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 9 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • May 9, 2015 at 12:48 pm #76498
    PathOfPeace
    Participant

    Hello Everyone,

    Hope all is going great! Have a bit of trouble in choice making here. I will list the facts and speak your mind on what you would do if you were me. Me and my wife have been together for 6 years total and planning on having a family. She has a lot of worries/fears about the whole thing. I have some myself but nothing to do with the baby and all to do with her. Me and her fight pretty good but we are still in love and want to make things work.

    We arent having a child to “Fix” things. Its time and Im ready. The option to wait longer is gone. So dont bother listing that as a option. We have talked about family planning for over 2 years now so its not just all of a sudden. Im worried that we fight so much now that what happens after a child comes into the picture? Even more fighting or even more heated?

    On the flipside, if I leave and start over again I may run into the same problem again and again. I have been in relationships for the past 20 years. All of them I have had fights in. I was also in one where the female I was with fooled me into thinking she wanted to take care of animals and didnt help at all. I can only imagine how having a child with her would have been a real mess. So the question is-Stick it out and take the good with the bad or throw away everything to hope to find dry land! (Waterworld joke for those of you who dont love movies).

    May 9, 2015 at 4:34 pm #76505
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    My opinion is that you should stay with your wife and make a life together. You can’t throw away 6 years together. Every couple fights and if you leave that does not necessarly mean that you will not hsve arguments with that person. From my point of view, the only thing chaged will be the person. You already know the answer, because you said you two still love each other and want to make it work. Just talk to her about what’s on your mind and try to understand and listen to each other.

    May 10, 2015 at 3:17 am #76527
    Matt
    Participant

    The Thinker,

    The option to wait isn’t allowed because you’re ready? What about her thoughts, feelings and opinions? It may be a language thing. 🙂 If she’s fearful, consider setting aside your strong opinions on what matters and listen to her side of things. It will be good practice for the caring attention that you’ll need to be a dad.

    Have you considered couple’s counselling? The question “should I have a baby or leave my wife?” says to me that there are perhaps some issues you would do well to look at more closely before trying to answer that.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    May 10, 2015 at 4:20 am #76528
    PathOfPeace
    Participant

    Matt,

    I just didnt want to write 5 pages worth of details so here is the info on that. THe reason for waiting not being an option is because we have already put this off for 2 years due to fears she has. We are both getting up there in age and I dont want to be raising a child when Im 50. I would like to be able to keep up with a young child as Im sure you can understand.

    I have already listened to her fears and have tried counselling (Currently in counsel) along with helping her through her fears. But I appreciate the feedback.

    Denise,

    Thanks for the feedback also. Im kinda leaning in that direction, just worried about raising a child with constant fighting or maybe thats just how couples raise kids? My parents fought all the time when I was growing up.

    May 10, 2015 at 9:46 am #76537
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Please think of the good of your future child or children- will they have a good mother and a good father? Is your wife the right mother for your future child? Will she treat your future child well so to produce a healthy new person? What are your plans as to the kind of father you will be for your child? Will you and your wife work together well for the benefit of your future child?

    As future parent you have a great responsibility for taking care of a dependent child, an innocent, weak child who will NEED you greatly, who will look up to you for protection, for safety (physical and emotional) and for guidance. It is your responsibility to CHOOSE the right woman for the job of mothering your future child as it is your responsibility to be and become a good father. Please be very thoughtful and make good decisions NOW for the child you are considering having.

    anita

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