Hey Guys,

In short I got into a serious relationship last year. My partner was from Singapore, but originally a student here. We fell in love deeply and planned for our future together. However, in the UK, he needed a work permit to be able to stay. I’ve never saw someone try as hard for one as he did, but sadly he couldn’t get one and had to return.  (Singapore is a well advanced country, so he didn’t need to stay here. He wanted to, but it wasn’t necessary). We got engaged, because we loved each other and didn’t want to have to live apart. We would have to be apart for a certain amount of time, but the ultimate goal was to get married. Whilst we originally wanted to live here at least first, we also weren’t opposed to living in Singapore neither.

Cut to when he went home in November 2017, things were fine at first. It hurt us both, but we maintained contact and had the same end goal in sight. However, I have severe anxiety and he began to become more and more distant. He was unable to understand how much this triggered my anxiety to say the least. Whilst he’d show periods of love and affection, he’d claim that he couldn’t stand all the drama, without realising a lot of the time it was because of miscommunication. He was under a lot of stress, and is quite a private/avoidant person.

After awhile, it became unbearable. We broke up in January, he was pretty vile about it. After some going back and forth, it seemed that’s what he wanted and I never begged him to return, but made my feelings clear and that I had believed our issues were resolvable. However, his own mood swings were unbearable for me too at this point, so I left it at that. After awhile, he contacted me about money he owed me. We had a nice conversation on the phone, he said he hadn’t meant he didn’t love me any more, he missed me and his life here, but felt we should think things through. Fair enough. The day after was Valentine’s Day, he sent me a message for that. The day after, he wrote to me with some updates in his life and then again, he just ghosted.

After around 5 days, I contacted him and basically said I couldn’t be left hanging by a string. He snapped at me and claimed we should call it all off, then texted me shortly after saying he was sorry, he was just tired and if we could talk tomorrow. I said I wasn’t sure, if he really wanted to end things, I saw no reason to drag it out and he should feel lucky after all he’s put me through. He apologised again, said he’d felt really negative lately, wished I’d sleep well and that we’d talk the following day. Well, he never did contact me, despite him suggesting it. I tried to contact him, nothing. So I took upon myself to give myself closure and sent him an amicable message to end things on a more pleasant note, since it seemed his mind was made up. Today is his birthday, so I’d wished him a nice day for that too. He never responded so eventually I snapped and basically said he’d had one too many chances, he didn’t realise my worth in short. He’s avoided reading it, and frankly, I don’t understand why he can’t just give me the closure I need.

I’d give him another chance, quite stupidly. We’d planned to have a family together, etc. But only if he massively proved himself and made the effort I deserve, would be the only way I’d do that. I just don’t know what to make of it all. Obviously at this point I have no intentions of contacting him any more, because if he doesn’t want me, I deserve better!

I just wondered what others opinions were on this really.

Best wishes to all!