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what to do?

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • October 9, 2013 at 9:47 pm #43555
    buddha123
    Participant

    Hi,

    I know a guy since last few years. He broke up with me for his own reasons to not able to commit. I tried hard to get the things right but he did not change his mind. So, I stopped and accepted it. Now, after more than a year,he sent an email asking how am I doing. I did reply to him that what he wants & after that, I did not hear from him. Its been two months. I still harbor feelings for him but past reminds me that he wanted to end this relationship. I am confused, why he contacted.

    • This topic was modified 11 years, 2 months ago by buddha123.
    October 10, 2013 at 11:30 am #43576
    John
    Participant

    Hey b123,

    I feel for your confusion.

    There could be a thousand reasons why he contacted and he’s the only one who really knows.

    Either way, it doesn’t sound like a very sound and sincere email or healthy communication. If he tries to contact you again, I doubt it it’s someone with whom you might want to continue to correspond with. It’s just having your healing wounds ripped open.

    October 17, 2013 at 1:23 am #43905
    buddha123
    Participant

    I am going through an emotional turmoil. He had broke up saying he has personal issues and needs time. I tried convincing but in vain. After more than 6-7 months, he just said Hi a message on messenger. I did not reply to that. Then again after few months, he sent an email asking how am i doing. Since, i did not get into long conversation, I asked him, what he wanted from me & then he did not reply. Its been 2 months now.

    Does it indicate even slight emotions from his side or I should just move on….

    October 18, 2013 at 9:50 am #43987
    bodhisatva
    Participant

    Hi B123,
    I think this man is confused regarding your relationship, as are you.. Wouldnt it be better if both of you took time off to think and grow your own selves up and then maybe, if your hearts harbour feelings, have an open and honest discussion, and not the superficial hi on a messenger ? I dont think you are responsible for him sorting his mind out, and you wont be able to point him in that direction anyways, but you can do it to yourself though, i suggest asking him to not contact you and then focussing on your own spiritual growth would do you more good. maybe along the way your heart will open for someone else who would see the wonderful person you are and will not have a doubt, or maybe your heart will lead you back to him, but only after you are completely happy with being yourself and being single. I pray you find peace and love.

    October 18, 2013 at 10:15 pm #44002
    Mika Maddela
    Participant

    Hey,

    I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through, I know how much it hurts to not be with the person you love and plus the fact he reached out to you.

    After a years time, he was genuinely curious about you and when you gave him an unwelcoming response.

    See it from his perspective. He reached out to you and you responded with “what do you want.” Of course you haven’t heard from him since then.

    For whatever reason he reached out to you, ONLY HE KNOWS. My opinion and everyone else’s along with yours are just based on PURE ASSUMPTION–which is not going to help you either move on or get him back.

    Too be honest, it sounds like you may have been in REACTION MODE rather than RESPONSE MODE.

    Check out this short video if you don’t know the difference between the two.

    Keep in mind that if you want him back, you must INSPIRE his love. Do you think you’re in a place right now to INSPIRE his love or perhaps you still have some emotional pain you need to work on before you can get him back?

    Just my thoughts..

    xx.
    Mika

    October 21, 2013 at 6:13 am #44065
    buddha123
    Participant

    Hi Mika and bodhisatva, Thanks for yours response. Breakup wasn’t amicable and I was in facing a bad time. I wanted commitment and he said, he needs time and somehow he gave signal that he is not happy on few things. We had differences on financial matters and future ahead. I tried a lot for about 6 months then gave up.

    I was in a dilemma whether to move on or to keep hope. I was torn between these two options and suddenly one day he sends a message saying How am I doing. I did not want to get into long conversation and asked straight to the point. I still believe if he had really wanted then he could have spoken further but there was no response at all. But, deep down, I still long for him and that is killing me. Not sure what to do.

    October 21, 2013 at 6:23 am #44066
    buddha123
    Participant

    The breakup point occurred when I wanted to get marry and he could not…. I was totally in a fix. That point he left me and though I accepted that and was living somehow.

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