JFlow,

Rule of thumb is not to talk about others.  That is called gossip.

You can talk about your own experience without gossiping.

This “talk too much” is not in itself a bad thing in my opinion.

For this incident you talked about someone who works with or for your husband’s boss which is not cool.

This is where mindfulness comes in.  I recommend practicing mindfulness.

Mark

Dear JFlow:

I used to talk too much as well, used to talk before thinking. I don’t do that anymore. And it feels so much better to be able to practice self control as to the flow of the words coming out of my mouth (or typed on these very threads)-

Between the impulse or urge to say something questionable and the actual saying, take a pause, take a moment and think: who am I speaking to? What is the goal of me sharing this, what am I trying to accomplish? What are the consequences of what I am about to say?

anita

Hi JFlow,

1) I am going to suggest you the same thing that Mark suggested.

“Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:

At the first gate, ask yourself “Is is true?”

At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?”

At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?”

~ Rumi

Before saying anything allow your mind to pass through each of the 3 gates and say it only when there is a YES at each gate. In due course of time and practice, it will become fast enough to pass through these filters before saying anything.

Save the below image and keep it in your mobile and refer to it quite often.

2) Also I suggest you to take a look at the 1st among the ‘Four Agreements’

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

More details on how to use the 1st Agreement is in the below link and also in other places of the web.

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Best wishes,

VJ