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Sister problems

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  • January 30, 2018 at 7:52 am #189723
    Galaxy
    Participant

    My sister just moved home a while ago, to save up for a place outside the city. And we are polar opposites…. she is a high achiver in everything always making the top and very competitive and is in the health industry. Im a vegetarian who does yoga and weightlifting. She constantly criticizes me and my parents, how we should be working out to her standards how she wants my parents to go to her gym to get them in shape (they are in great shape actually) she is so loud, talks on her phone all the time and whatever room shes in I can hear what she is doing.. I hate to be a complaint freak. I feel really unconfortable with her around, im a full time student at college (10 minutes away) and im a really quiet person. If I have something exciting or depressing that happened to me I keep it to myself. At night my sister talks on the phone all night and I ask her if she could finish the conversation or talk somewhere else and she just tells me to get earplugs.. It makes me feel angry then guilty I dont know why.

    I didnt mean to write so much, does anyone have a broken sibling relationship that is torn? I just want peace

    January 30, 2018 at 8:51 am #189787
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Galaxy:

    You wrote that it makes you angry that your sister tells you to get earplugs and you “don’t know why”-I think I know why. You asserted yourself with her, told her that her talking all night (or long into the night) bothers you. She didn’t take your feelings seriously, didn’t respond to you respectfully. She should have, if she was a decent sister and person. She should have limited her talking on the phone, not talk  past a certain hour agreed by both, and otherwise lower the volume of her voice.

    When she told you to  get earplugs, her message was: your problem, you take care of it. I am not  going to do anything to help you.

    It is difficult to live with a loud person when you value silence or quiet voices and it is more difficult to live with a person who does not value your feelings and will not help to relieve your distress.

    I hope she doesn’t live there for long. I suppose your parents own the home, is there a way for them to  enforce some house rules on her, as a condition for her living there?

    anita

    January 31, 2018 at 4:39 am #189883
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Galaxy,

    Older sisters can be annoying LOL. Especially when they’re grown but not flown! Oh, how I remember the infamous Laundry Wars at my Mother’s House when she was freaking 30 and would stay there all day to “just get (6) loads done”!

    The most you can do, I’m afraid, is ask (one for as many times as she gets on the phone): “So, how’s the apartment search going?”” Do you need any extra cash to hasten you to your goal?” “Oh, saving up 2K is easy, I’m going to miss you next week!” “Mom and Dad won’t say so, but I overheard them complaining about the noise.” “You should really do the dishes and get flowers maybe for Mom and Dad as a thank you.”

    If she gets subtle (and not so subtle) messages that she’s a guest and this moving back in is not an entitlement, she should be out of there sooner rather than later.

    In the meantime, now would be a great time for YOU to travel and go out more! 😉

    Good Luck,

    Inky

     

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