Hi Nicole,

I think you have done the best you can with your sister. You can’t change or fix her, only she can do that. Try (I know it’s hard) just to have sympathy for her instead, which may help you if you have to have limited interaction with her. Maybe she is deeply unhappy, or maybe she is this way with alot of people, or it could be she may be envious of you for something she perceives in the world around her, or distorted thinking, it could be anything. But know it’s not about you, you have done your best. Try to do what you are doing. Limit your time and/or interaction with her. Try not to react to anything she says or do, because that is what peole want, a reaction. When they don’t get that, they get bored, and most of time they move on to an easier target, kind of like bullies. What they want is attention, a reaction. No attention…they move on. They have an “audience” they want to please so, they too can laugh and join in. So, if it’s just once a month only, as long as it’s no harmful, let her have her way to keep the peace, if she wants to feed your one year old something, just try to be strong, and show no emotion. Be around her as as little as possible, and then take your one year old and leave the situation as soon as possible. If you find yourself wanting to react, take deep breaths, and say to yourself “I feel bad for her”..I hope this helps..x

I think you will have to accept that this is who she is and that you’re relationship with her will not be warm and fuzzy.  It will be civil but icy.

When you need to be around her, continue to be pleasant and civil, and set boundaries when needed (firm and polite).  The key is to expect nothing from her….don’t expect her to follow suit, or like it, or have an aha moment where she sees she has been wrong and you have been right.  Zero expectations, while maintaining a pleasant and civil demeanor.