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Should we get back together?

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  • March 16, 2018 at 1:40 am #197557
    abubin
    Participant

    I have a very similar relationship with such a woman. A woman with anxiety and possible personality disorder issue. When she is angry, nothing goes into her mind. She will start thinking all sorts of nonsense which in the end, she will ask for break up. It happened a few times in a 6 month relationship.

    The good thing about you is that you are aware of your anger issue. You need to learn to control it. Maybe you should ask him to let you cool down whenever you are angry. Or maybe talk it out with him if you are still able to think sanely. Whichever method you think that works for you.

    Please do think from his POV. Without knowing the details of your argument with him, I can only guess from my own experience with such a woman. When she is angry, it is really hard for me. She push me away and say things that hurts. I tried to explain but it never helps. After a few days when things cool down, we are back together. Cause I have been very patient with her. I never show any outburst on her even though I am angry that she is treating me like that. I know if I did, the relationship will be over. I keep telling her how much I love her and that I do not want our relationship to end on some stupid argument.

    Anyway, if you love him and thinks that he love you. Give it another chance. Understand he is also trying his best to cater for your anger issues. It is not fair to put all the blame on him. He is has anger too and think of all the things he did for you.

    Good luck in deciding your happiness. Love is a choice.

    March 16, 2018 at 4:45 am #197585
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Kai,

    In situations such as these, it is really helpful to run by the conversation with a professional. Sometimes a relationship isn’t working out and it has nothing to do with your depression/anxiety/personality disorder. Blowing up and blocking you, for example,  is a very immature response on his part, even if you were depressed/anxious/disordered at the time.

    No matter what your issues are, breaking up and then getting back together (rinse, repeat) is a bad habit to get into. If you’re broken up, stay broken up, and perhaps revisit the relationship next year if you’re both free. This gives space and maturity time to work its magic.

    Best,

    Inky

    March 16, 2018 at 7:10 am #197609
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kai:

    The last two sentences of your post are: “When I asked for a sign, it was one of strength. But when it comes to love I am still just as lost.”-

    you don’t have to be lost, not for long. If you resume your relationship, it doesn’t have to be the same as it was before, and it doesn’t have to depend on luck. You can be an active and discerning party to your relationship, make better choices following thinking. Have objectives and ways to work toward your chosen objectives, with your boyfriend, as a team.

    Anxiety, depression, what you suffer from, what he suffers from, you can help each other.

    anita

     

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