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Should i keep fighting for our friendship ?

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  • April 14, 2016 at 11:57 am #101878
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear spiritflower:

    It is possible that your friend is unreasonable, that is that she will not share with you the reason for her anger that time, a reason you still don’t know. It is also possible that the reason is right in front of you and you don’t see it.

    When she told you she had other plans and couldn’t meet you this last time, you wrote in response: “Oh, thats okay maybe next time”- I wonder why you were insincere in that reply. It was not okay for you. A sincere reply would have been something like: “I am so disappointed, I looked forward to us meeting so much! I hope we can meet soon?” Wouldn’t it?

    anita

    April 14, 2016 at 12:03 pm #101880
    spiritual
    Participant

    Hi Anita thanks for replying me

    I don’t really now the reason till this day.. she told me after we tried to talk about it that if i don’t know then maybe its not true but i really am sure that i have never done or said something that could hurt her at least not on purpose

    You are so right about the text.. this is exactly what i wanted to answer but at that that moment i felt like she didn’t bother at all and i didn’t want to look like the desperate one so i made it look like i didn’t bother either

    April 14, 2016 at 12:17 pm #101886
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear spiritflower:

    Why don’t you send her a sincere message with how you really feel, what you expressed on this thread. Make it as simple and not too long, ending sentences with periods, not repeating information. Tell her how it is, simply, directly, truthfully. What do you have to lose?

    anita

    April 14, 2016 at 12:24 pm #101888
    spiritual
    Participant

    i sent her many messages .. and we end up all the time distant from each other don’t you think its over ? do you think its really worth it to always be the one making the first move ? do you think she still want to be my friend ? i have no idea what to tell her ?

    April 14, 2016 at 12:42 pm #101890
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear spiritflower:

    If you already told her your true feelings and you were already honest with her, and she did not react positively toward you, then it is over. If, on the other hand, you sent her a lot of messages but were not honest in them, that is, you told her what you thought you should tell her, trying to appear this way or that way, then I would send her a different kind of message: honest, direct, true.

    anita

    April 15, 2016 at 5:21 am #101926
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Spiritflower,

    Look at this in a different way ~ you had a friendship that lasted through several stages of your life! That is reason to congratulate yourself! Now, the bestie has become different ~ in reality you haven’t been as close for at least half the friendship. What has happened is she has taken over the role of “The Best Friend” in your Personal Mythology. For me, I have one friend who openly tells everyone I’m her best friend, but I call her “My Best Bud” because calling her my best friend sounds like a lie. All because of my Real/”real” best friend ~ from first grade ~ who I talk to on the phone ~ twice a year. That one is The Best Friend in my Personal Mythology.

    Look at who your ACTIVE best friend is now. Pay attention to that one. In fact, most times it’s healthier to pay attention to those who pay attention to you. With Priority going to the ones who treat you best.

    Good Luck,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 5 months ago by Inky.
    April 15, 2016 at 9:43 am #101949
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    You’re not alone Spiritflower. I had a friend who was pretty religious. Keep it mind that I’m not against religion; I just don’t think it needs to guide your entire life. We were very good friends in high school, and then I had a phone convo with her about her beliefs but didn’t want to listen or I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. We actually saw each other recently downtown, and I tried to reconcile with her, but she said she didn’t have to talk to me. The point of this story is that sometimes people grow apart. I’m sure your friendship was special, but it’s time to let go. You have to let go of others, whether it’s due to a bad relationship or a friendship ending on its own course. There will probably be times when you want to reminisce and reconnect with your best friend, but again, you have to leave the past behind you. Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise.

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