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Should I bother?

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  • October 20, 2019 at 2:10 am #318771
    Holly
    Participant

    If somebody (a friend) hasn’t responded to a message I sent them over 2 weeks ago…about something that was causing me distress…should I even bother trying to maintain a relationship with them? Like…how much can they possibly care, really…right?

    October 20, 2019 at 7:16 am #318793
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Holly:

    Over two weeks ago, you sent a message to a friend about something that was causing you distress and that friend didn’t respond to it all this time.

    “how much can they possibly care, really.. right?”- right, she/ he doesn’t care.

    But here is a possibility, just a possibility- what if that friend expressed distress to you in the past and you didn’t respond? In that case, that friend is as caring a friend to you as you have been to her (or him).

    anita

     

    October 20, 2019 at 8:08 am #318801
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Holly,

    There is often a stupid answer: They didn’t get the text, they meant to get back to you, they THOUGHT they got back to you, their partner casually read their texts and they had no idea they got one, their eyes skipped over the text, there was an emergency, they thought it was no big deal, their mother died. *sigh*

    People often ask me, “DID YOU GET THE (group event) EMAIL??”

    I’m always, “YES. I get fifty emails a day. I haven’t processed it.”

    Maybe CALL her next time? Maybe she gets fifty unique text subjects a day? When my friends call me personally about A Thing, The Thing jumps to a whole new real level.

    Best,

    Inky

    October 20, 2019 at 4:51 pm #318869
    Holly
    Participant

    Anita –

    I have always been there for this friend. I would never not reply to her. Especially if she was upset. We are supposed to be best friends.

    October 20, 2019 at 4:53 pm #318871
    Holly
    Participant

    Inky –

    She got the message. She’s just been busy, apparently. Personally no matter how busy I was; I would have made time to reply. I wish I had a friend like me.

    October 21, 2019 at 6:44 am #318945
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Holly:

    She is not a friend then, and definitely not a best friend. Maybe she was in the past, but not anymore. A friend (unless she is very sick or has an emergency situation) would have inquired about your distress that same day you messaged her about it.

    “Should I bother?”- I don’t think so.

    anita

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