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Shortlived affair ending in a mess

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  • March 17, 2019 at 3:32 am #284923
    AEG
    Participant

    Cannot edit, so an addition:
    This person belong to a group of people where, if explaining ideas, like in a game of chess, I can follow the first 3 or 4 moves and hereafter will loose the thread, where they can continue to the 8th or 9th move.They look to me as skilled chess players just playing on other boards.If not having any education and never meeting counterarguments, being a wild flower, interpretations in the end of course will be wrong.Their criss crossed and fast processed thoughts makes it difficult for these individuals to collaborate where I think drugs used against attention deficit perhaps should be given a shot.After talking with friends a second opinion concerning medication is not likely as a person above age 50, out of work and seen upon as a drug abuser if following guidelines not will be prioritized for a second opinion in our present health care system.

    • This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by AEG. Reason: typo
    March 17, 2019 at 8:42 am #284963
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear AEG:

    She is in her 50s, lives alone in a flat, disabled, unemployed, on painkillers and anti anxiety drugs, believes she has been wrongly medicated, friendless, “looking upon herself as treated wrong and never understood by society”.

    You, nine years older than her, “working in a well respected and relatively high positioned job.. well situated economical with a nice house and a bank account.. ready to share if it came so far”.

    You asked: “why does a person spiraling down (as I see it) reject someone reaching out?”. Let’s look at what she said as the reasons why she rejected you:

    1. “usually I prefer the tough type.. you are a little too old”- you were not tough enough for her liking (I don’t know what “tough” means, to her), and being nine years older than her, she felt you were too old.

    2. “our horoscopes do not match perfectly”- she checked your horoscope and found out it doesn’t match hers perfectly.

    You asked: “should I send her a message- or forget?”-

    I would say forget, because you can’t change your age (#1) or your horoscope (#2).

    Also, regarding her spiraling down, she is living in her own flat, and although unemployed, she has a regular monthly money coming in (?), how is she spiraling down and is her economical situation getting worse?

    anita

     

    March 17, 2019 at 10:22 am #284993
    AEG
    Participant

    Thank you for reply, anita
    I am not clingy and think I will let time pass and let her go, so in some way not my problem anymore.
    She was born prematurely and probably spent her first time in an incubator, in and out of hospital for the first year.Her pains / headaches appear absolutely real.They could be physical or a result of tension, perhaps a combination.Her medication is now being discontinued, and no alternatives are planned.She has not been on vacation for the last many years due to a sparse economy, living in a rented flat.A big dream of hers is to get a job, where a kind but very verbally active behavior is standing in the way.
    A second opinion could examine and consider if it was an idea e.g. with medication against hyperkinesia. Alternatively, if it was confirmed that a medical condition existed already in youth contributing to poor performance on the labor market she would qualify for a moderate rise in pension.
    That is of course her problem alone.She is a talented person and could do well if she was given a second chance.As it looks now she will not get that chance.She could spiral into an un- or self medicated painful existence.
    AEG

    March 17, 2019 at 10:40 am #284999
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear AEG:

    Well, she is receiving pension, living in a rented flat, having medical care, able to feed and clothe herself, having some social life, so she is not spiraling down, that is, she is not in danger of losing her pension or her flat and is comfortable enough as it is, comfortable enough to “reject someone reaching out”, someone with a job a home you  own and so forth.

    Does that answer your question, “why does a person spiraling down.. reject someone reaching out?”

    anita

    March 17, 2019 at 12:42 pm #285019
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi AEG,

    You are obsessed with this (not pretty, poor, on meds/drugs, etc., etc., etc.) woman because:

    SHE turned YOU down!

    You committed the most egregious sin that she saw right through: YOU (“you??”) tried to HELP her! She was insulted. She instinctively, in her quantum physics yet drug addled brain, immediately shut you down long term. She wants a “young tough guy with a compatible horoscope”! (Don’t we all?) Her excuses were so gentle, and yet outrageous, don’t you see? She was letting you down gently. If she’s going to be helped by anyone, she’s not going to be “helped” by a dull older guy wearing the same gray suits.

    She is, in fact, your equal (sorry), not easy romantic prey.

    Best,

    Inky

    March 17, 2019 at 3:34 pm #285037
    AEG
    Participant

    Dear anita and inky
    I admit I was hurt, but have far from felt or behaved superior, and respect her choice (no other option btw. :-)). Perhaps you are both right, and I regret saying that about her looks.I am not pretty either.Those other bad words are not mine,but from a friend who is a doctor.I simply just believed what happened early in life was part of the headaches and could have fixed a private appointment.
    TinyBudhha is welcome to scrap this topic.
    all the best – AEG

    March 18, 2019 at 6:07 am #285077
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear AEG:

    You are welcome to post again, on this topic of your short term relationship or on another topic. You can add to this thread or start a new one.

    Regarding this topic, in your original post you wrote: “I now understand early childhood experience can surface when choosing someone you are attached to. As infant I was separated from my very young mother for some time due to turbulent circumstances until my parents worked it out and married (it was in the late 1950s”-

    -would you like to elaborate on your early childhood experience, how it shaped you and how it affected your interactions with the woman you wrote about?

    anita

     

    March 18, 2019 at 2:29 pm #285185
    AEG
    Participant

    Dear anita

    Maybe someday I should elaborate.Feel tired and remorseful.Could write one line, or a novel.Done is done, and tomorrow the sun will rise again 🙂

    Have a nice day – topic closed – and thank you – AEG

    March 18, 2019 at 3:51 pm #285189
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You are welcome, AEG.

    anita

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