Dear Glope et:

Good to read from you again! It’s been a while! I hope your studies in China are going well.

What a story, how unfortunate.

Seems like the courts didn’t believe Hope’s father’s story that he shot his wife by mistake. Seems like Hope does believe him. Maybe he murdered his wife but the truth is too terrible for Hope to accept, to accept that she doesn’t have a mother anymore AND that her father killed her mother. So she doesn’t.

As Hope’s friend, when you are in contact with her, listen to her, don’t suggest to her that her father indeed murdered her mother. This is probably too much for her, too overwhelming. She probably needs psychotherapy with a competent therapist to deal with her shock and the situation. So I wouldn’t suggest anything to her, only listen. Let her talk, if she will.

Be there for her to express herself. You can give her feedback on what she says, for example, tell her, “this is making you very sad, doesn’t it? Or …So what you are saying is that … Just so to let her know you heard her, you listened.

Please post again, Glet and hope Hope will heal from this tragedy, over time.

anita

Hi Glet,

I agree that your friend can’t even process something so horrible as the father killing the mother. If it indeed was an accident, the good news is they usually don’t put people to death right away. It takes several months or a few years for that to actually happen. Time enough for appeals.

Just say, “I’m so sorry” and “I’m here for you”.

Check in with her periodically even if you don’t hear back from her. She needs to know someone is there.

Blessings,

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years, 9 months ago by Inky.