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she lost both her parents in the worst ways within a year..

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  • July 29, 2016 at 8:47 pm #110927
    Glet
    Participant

    hey everyone
    I havent been on this site in a while and am not even here to talk about me.for anyone who will take time to read this and reply i will be so greatful.

    back in high school about 2 years ago i met the most cheerful girl who later became my bestfriend.let me call her hope. we shared everything,talked about everything,our dreams our hopes…we both wanted to move to china and study medicine and after high school we did…she was living in another city but we kept in touch..so last year summer she went back home for holidays and thats when things happened.Hope’s mum was shot by her dad..i read most of these in newspapers at first and according to the media,
    Hope found her mum lying in a pool of blood and her dad had the gun….after a few weeks of trying to contact her she finally replied to my messages and told me a different story…apparently they were at their holiday home and thieves used to come at night so the dad kept his gun close and that night he thought they were thieves and ended up shooting his wife which was a mistake..Hope told me that he dad was totally innocent..i didnt know what to say to her then i just mostly listened…And today morning av just found out that the dad was sentenced to death yesterday by the court…at this moment i know even know what i should say to her….please advice me on this matter,what can i even say? we are in different countries so i cant even go ti see her…

    • This topic was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Glet.
    July 29, 2016 at 9:07 pm #110930
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Glope et:

    Good to read from you again! It’s been a while! I hope your studies in China are going well.

    What a story, how unfortunate.

    Seems like the courts didn’t believe Hope’s father’s story that he shot his wife by mistake. Seems like Hope does believe him. Maybe he murdered his wife but the truth is too terrible for Hope to accept, to accept that she doesn’t have a mother anymore AND that her father killed her mother. So she doesn’t.

    As Hope’s friend, when you are in contact with her, listen to her, don’t suggest to her that her father indeed murdered her mother. This is probably too much for her, too overwhelming. She probably needs psychotherapy with a competent therapist to deal with her shock and the situation. So I wouldn’t suggest anything to her, only listen. Let her talk, if she will.

    Be there for her to express herself. You can give her feedback on what she says, for example, tell her, “this is making you very sad, doesn’t it? Or …So what you are saying is that … Just so to let her know you heard her, you listened.

    Please post again, Glet and hope Hope will heal from this tragedy, over time.

    anita

    July 29, 2016 at 9:39 pm #110932
    Glet
    Participant

    Dear Anita

    thank you so much for replying and yes she has always loved her father very much so maybe she just wants to keep seeing him in a good light..its a very sad story indeed and i can only hope to be a good friend in such a time…

    my studies are going very well thank you so much

    July 30, 2016 at 5:33 am #110941
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Glet,

    I agree that your friend can’t even process something so horrible as the father killing the mother. If it indeed was an accident, the good news is they usually don’t put people to death right away. It takes several months or a few years for that to actually happen. Time enough for appeals.

    Just say, “I’m so sorry” and “I’m here for you”.

    Check in with her periodically even if you don’t hear back from her. She needs to know someone is there.

    Blessings,

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Inky.
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