thank you so much Mark.

It is a very difficult situation. and that’s why I feel to write a book would only make me feel like everything is off my chest and wil feel like closure. but also I think it would help others to as I would hate to think other people are going through the same.

thanks again! x

hey Anita

Thanks for your thoughts…

they were exactly mine at first as I didn’t react well to this.

but after looking back when we first started speaking we had a conversation about the future and what things we would want to accomplish in life. and one of his was to travel to Australia and work on a farm. he never said when or whether he actually was.

after a few months when he told me I reacted really bad but once I spoken to him he told me, he didn’t realise it would be so soon but the opportunity had arisen and he didn’t want to let it go. I guess if it had been longer the decision would of been to stay and even for a couple of months he was debating what to do. and even though he said he loved me with everything he had. there’s something he has to do before having any commitments.

sometimes I thought that’s bull, but other times I thought you know he’s right.

x

hey Anita

yeah I know and I completely understand his decision I have a child and settled where he wasn’t he was 3 years younger than me and never had a relationship. I believe that he was truly in love with me but I also get that it was very early stages to make such a big choice maybe if the opportunity had came later on input relationship it wouldn’t of happened of how it did..

truthfully I was a bit of a dick lol we went out for several drinks with a group of us and would cause arguments about it. I would cry and blame him. I would act sometimes cold because sort of a wall came up after being hurt badly 4 years ago and never been near man afterwards I sort of got anxious and acted the wrong way. but that was only for about a month before he went away the relationship was for about a year so we did have all the good times while it lasted but then it hit me.

I know I pushed him away at the end but I was trying to get the separation subconsciously and only see now that I did that.

do think about him everyday and usually its just because I hope he is okay andhappy and miss the friendship we also had but there’s the odd times I just feel completely shattered.

x

writing my book for closure.

and working on achieving my goals

I enjoy being single but I am hoping one day in the future once achieved my goals someone will make me feel like this again as it was beautiful feeling.

thanks for your help Anita x