Dear Anita, I hope you enjoyed the wedding yesterday evening. I hope you laughed (stand up comedy) ate (I have a feeling they had some good appetizers) and drank (perhaps red wine) and maybe even danced?! It gives me a nice feeling this wedding you went to. Intimate warm cozy and fun. I like to fill my life with such events and feelings. And luckily I have been able to since the summer. After the summer passed I have felt “warm and cozy.” Not just because the winter season is here and heaters and socks are on!

Dear Anita,

Yes, I did write that post prior to seeing your email and the pictures.

I am glad that you had a pleasant evening, I do love the flannel! During weddings in which there are vows, and sometimes hand written, I love listening and watching the facial expressions of the bride and groom. Each couple having their own way of communicating and listening. Sometimes very personal, sometimes not so much.  Always special.

I will be away from the computer now for the rest of the day.

I will keep in mind the concept of reducing stress, I hope I always do – but I especially will today.

Until next time Anita!

Have a great day.

Dear Anita,

Happy Thanksgiving week.

I want to extend this note to give my “thanks” to you.

I feel grateful for where I am in my life today.  To have a wonderful supportive in law family.  To be focusing on inner circle more and more.  For our evolving relationship over the years – that continues to teach and grow.

I appreciate the people in my life that I can grow it.  I appreciate the ability to not focus on those I can not grow with, and know it is not about me in these cases.  That I don’t have to self blame; I simply have to observe, understand, and move forward.

Moving forward is a brave and courageous act.  I feel brave.

Thank you for always helping me on this journey, from the start.  I hope you have a wonderful week – no matter what you do.  I will be thinking of you during Thanksgiving – and thankful!

Dear Anita,

Happy December.  I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.  I hope it was full of good food and peaceful times.

My thanksgiving was not peaceful per se- but very fun.  More important than fun, it was full of many lessons.

I thought about this morning how I would summarize them for you, and I was having trouble.  So many situations:

The cousin – from the London incident- was there

The wife – from the fourth of July annoyance – was with us the following day

And more…

And the whole point of it all, led to one culmination for me: let it go, and choose joy over resentment and anger.

I noticed this shift in myself, unlike before where I would have been fixated on each detail of the events and interaction, I was able to focus on the “thesis” – the finale.

The finale of, joy outweighs anger – always.  No matter where the origin of the anger or negative feelings are from.

Joy and peace should always be prioritized.

Dear Anita,

I hope you are well also.  It is a hectic few weeks finalizing the end of work here, new work, new contracts, and the big move.

But know that I am always thinking of you and our talks – and even if I can not post as much as usual – our teachings are omnipresent.

I was wondering today, you had mentioned recently that you were looking for “something new” – did you end up figuring out what that is? Any inclination I wonder.

Dear Anita,

Yes I always have and will value our communication.  My hiatus from tiny buddha- whenever that may be – now or in the future is indicative of whats going on in my own life, never because I want to speak with you less.

Anita, you have helped a countless number of people on here – it is an incredible thing that you do.

Oh and by the way – we have settled on San Diego.  I am glad you are the first person I discussed Newport vs. San Diego with.  Our conversation was perfect, and they are the exact truly important values my husband and I discussed since then over the last few weeks.

Choose more peace, whenever possible.  That is what we are hoping for.

Dear Anita,

choose peace.

Our last conversation was about choosing peace. Since then as you probably expected my husband and I have continued to have many conversations about this perspective move. I have noticed that he has been more anxious in the last two weeks than the prior months. As you know he has been calm quite anxious over the last year or so given everything that he has been through with myself and my family. However, I noticed an even more anxious husband in front of me.

Background about myself, I’ve been busy over the last few weeks trying to secure a job for myself. At first it seemed quite easy out there as they were multiple options, but In reality there are a few options for me. I am waiting on one major hospital, and likely have options at two smaller places. All in all, it would likely work out for me. And hopefully I end up at a location that is a good environment. I also know that moving to an entirely different region and you don’t always know the climate at first, especially the medical climate. Therefore I might end up in a job for a year that is OK, and then once I move there I can figure out the best option for me or over long-term.

so back to my husband,

He has started thinking a lot about how perhaps making the move to California is not the best decision. The more that he thinks about it the more he feels that the job he is in currently in New York City is actually not as bad as he thought months ago. He is noticing changes right in front of his eyes. He is noticing that there are additional staff members that are hired to make things easier hopefully, and he is also becoming less sensitive to many of the issues that he was faced with such as some of the negative demeanor and attitudes of many people – Of course and unfortunately in many ways come with living in New York City (and other places too of course). In many ways it sounds like one of those you don’t realize what you had until it’s gone sort of things, but perhaps now that we are sitting here and physically planning out a move, it is hitting him. Is it the right decision? Also, his parents are 74 years old. They are in good health, but not getting any younger. His father had a knee replacement last year, and had a mild cardiac event a few months ago. Unlike my parents they are not the type to catastrophize or dramatize anything, and they never expect us to drop everything and be by there side. But as you know, from talking with me over the years, they are wonderful people. And therefore of course we want to be there for them in their old age. Next situation, having children will Be in our plan in the next few years. Of course given that I am 34 years old and we do feel ready for that next chapter 1 sweetie stabilize our life and jobs and everything. We have her time and time again from everyone that the most important thing is to have family around. Of course in our case the only family that this means is his parents as my parents are not in the picture. I have told you in the past that his parents are pretty much retired, they are very deeply ingrained in your community in this area. Yet, they would be open to relocating once we have children at least for part time.  Be in our plan in the next few years. Of course given that I am 34 years old and we do feel ready for that next chapter 1 sweetie stabilize our life and jobs and everything. We have her time and time again from everyone that the most important thing is to have family around. Of course in our case the only family that this means is his parents as my parents are not in the picture. I have told you in the past that his parents are pretty much retired, they are very deeply ingrained in your community in this area. Yet, they would be open to relocating once we have children at least for part time.  I’m not saying this for the sense of having them as source of full-time help, but for the sense of having them see our children grow up and of course have wonderful grandparents. There is nothing like good family members – that is the key.

Perhaps all of this seems like it’s coming out of nowhere, but over the last few weeks since Thanksgiving we continue to have talks back-and-forth, the last few days I’ve seen my husband become increasingly stress, and so I finally got it out of him, what is truly bugging him. We had this above conversation for hours and hours. I thought about it too. What do I think? And I go back-and-forth. I thought I would write some of this here. I will also think through my thoughts a little bit more and reply more.
good morning to you Anita, Sorry if I haven’t been as consistent in writing on here, as you see we have been almost paralyzed with this decision and someways.