Exactly, it’s ironic isn’t it. Actually looking back at that scenario it would go back-and-forth depending on what she needed to gain power. If it was me and her alone she would break me and say look now that I am divorced it makes her family looks so bad. But in front of other people she would say oh my daughter has had such a stroke of bad luck, look at how terrible, let’s hope for the best for her. And is this sort of back and forth unpredictability that kept me in limbo for so many years, still trying still seeking, trusting her judgment always

Dear Anita,

I wanted to tell you that I practiced the friendly but not over involved. Kind but distant. Calm and collected approach today. It wasn’t with a friend, in fact it was at a doctors appointment. I see an allergist. His wife helps run his office. She is sweet and kind, but also extremely talkative. On a day like today I found myself wanting to avoid her. Wanting to keep the visit straight to the point and leave – not want to speak of niceties of hows your summer and blah blah.

So I found an opportunity to practice once again. I spoke with the doctor about my symptoms and it was straightforward. While I was in the waiting area to receive my next batch of drops (I’m actually allergic to dogs and have severe seasonal allergies) she found her way towards me. She was pleased to see me as though I was an old friend. I met her with a smile and found myself feeling tired to muster up energy to make small talk. In fact she knows somethings about the wellness business idea as she herself has helped many people run practices in the past (outside of her husband). So in a way she is a great resource.

But here’s what I learned today about great resources. It’s all about timing. And that’s okay. I notice that the mother voice would say – befriend her and perhaps she can guide you in your endeavors one day.

But the CC says – I am tired.  I don’t need to. I don’t want to, not right now.

And that’s simply okay.

Dear Anita,

How are you doing? How have your last week or so been?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 2 months ago by Cali Chica.

Dear Anita,

best of luck with the MRI.

Yes it made me feel even closer to you – as a real life dearest friend, and not “just” a pen pal. Not that it was ever not special. I feel lucky to have your presence in my life and even happier to have a glimpse into your life further, learning about your husband as well. How did you feel about it?

I haven’t been very focused this week in writing as I have head a lot of headaches due to allergies and this cold I have. Pretty severe – but hopefully on it’s way out. It has taught me talk less though lol! The benefits of a sore throat. Silence!

Dear Anita,

I would never ever ever ever ever (x million) think less of you for any superficial reason of clothes, home, etc etc.

No way!!

I am sorry you felt like this for even a moment.  Perhaps I have been more withdrawn over the last week or so as I’ve been extremely fatigued (partly because of these allergies, and the other part is well – life).  Thus I haven’t been communicating on here as much.  It has nothing to do at all with you! And especially not because we had this exchange.

In fact I have felt so nice about this exchange, such a unique and special friendship.  My husband was also very pleased that we took this “step.” He said: “you should go visit her one day!”

Speaking of, I too, was thinking about meeting in person one day – I know you had mentioned October, will you still be making a trip to NYC?

My sister does look more like my mother.  In that she is shorter and curvier.  Her face as well to a point.  I look a little more like my father, but I think more traits from my maternal grandfather (light eyes and slim/longer limbs for a petite person).

You know, I love Moroccan culture.  I spent almost 2 weeks there years ago.  It was one of the more pleasant trips I had with my mother, the best one actually.  I recall us having a wonderful time.  The cuisine is one of my favorites, especially given that I am vegetarian.  I love the vegetable tagine, and all the wonderful sides, and of course the bread.  My mother (the expert traveler she is) planned an itinerary that took us around a huge part of the country – even up to the Atlas mountains – gorgeous! The Switzerland of North Africa.  While we were up there we went to a local family’s home where we learned to make Moroccan mint tea (I drink mint tea almost daily) – and a local lunch.  It was incredible.  We had bought gifts for the children and the agency compensates them for their time and effort, but also left some American things for the mother.  I’ll never forget it how happy she was.

And those are the moments – that’s what life is about.  While traveling, these are the types of cultural moments I appreciate the most.

I love that Morocco had a very interesting blend of Middle Eastern, African, and European culture – a wonderful melting pot.

I understand you are half Moroccan, and half Romanian ( I think you mentioned).  That must have been an interesting story how your parents met.