Hi meaow,

I have several thoughts.

1. If you sue him (even now) in a small claims court (or at least start the process even if it doesn’t lead anywhere) that will empower you. You will realize that YOU matter and set a spiritual line in the sand for how YOU are to be treated.

2. No more living together with someone.

3. No more meaningless sex. Sex is nature’s glue that helps bond people together. Nature’s “glue” to you is becoming physically meaningless. Abstain for a while. Romantic notions and urgings should replace it as the sexual energy will have nowhere else to go. This will help you.

4. Get a professional matchmaker (they do exist!). Nothing online (i.e. Match) yet. Ask your friends and family to set you up with people.

5. Only go to quality places. If you only meet quality people you will eventually only fall in love with a quality person. I.e. Church, yes, bars, no.

6. A few sessions with a good therapist would help you snap out of this emotional construct you have.

Good Luck!

Inky

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Inky.

Hi meaow,

I am new to here also. I am sorry about what you are going through. I found your comment about wanting to be desired and feeling close to someone to be particularly touching.

I wish I had a magic answer for you. I agree with Anita that somehow you need to feed this hunger. There may be a path toward this in finding a passion in which your heart can be satisfied– maybe an art, or something. (I sing. Not well. Not in public.) Chase a rainbow for yourself.

Let me try this though, and I know it’s “out of the box” and maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about. Is (or was) there any trust being felt between you and the three men that you mention in your post? Perhaps the barrier that you felt is that you did care for these men and you deep down didn’t want to hurt them, so you put up a wall, not just to protect yourself but to protect them as well. If that’s true, then you did a noble, caring thing.

When (notice I said when, not if) you meet someone that you feel you can trust, you can be more forthright with him and explain what has been happening. If he understands, you may be on your way. If he doesn’t, that is not on you. I wouldn’t jump right to this right away, of course– “not on the first date” as the cliche goes. We all have our crosses to bear. Talking about them at the right time is not a weakness, but a strength. Speaking of strength… you were strong enough to come here to post, so please give yourself credit for that.

I will do more than hope that things work out for you… I have confidence that they will, though it will take some time and work.

Thank you for reading.

Pegasus63

Dear KM,

“ I would at least like the option of forming a deeper relationship now. It seems that I have hardly any romantic interaction with anybody!…. I just don’t know what to do”
“There doesn’t seem to be the option. I feel completely stuck”
“I want to feel close to someone”
“…and to feel desired and respected by that person as well, and vice versa. I want to love again”
“If anyone has any advice or practices that I can take on to begin to change myself for the better, I would be so grateful”

Yes, I do have an advice for you as you are looking for a soulmate kind of love where you want to love and also be loved, which is simply being human.

And the advice is this e-book for you.

E-book name: You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching
Free Download Link:
(http://s000.tinyupload.com/?file_id=33537370403726193065)
(The PDF on the above link will remain for an unlimited period of time unless the file is not downloaded by anyone for 100 days)

You can go through the e-book and if you prefer also can do as suggested by the author (below)
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
Note from the author: Gabriella Hartwell
This book is intended for singles AND couples. This book will help you to connect with who you are so that you can draw your soul mate to you, or to bring your current relationship to a soul mate level. –
Spirit operates in giving love freely, the exchange of energy
without any expectations, and therefore I am offering my book,
‘You Find Your Soul Mate When You Let Go of Searching’, in a PDF
format free of charge.
The only thing that I ask is if you feel inspired, please write a
review for the book on Amazon.com and spread the book to those
you think may benefit from it…
I am always available for coaching and to help anyone to connect
with and receive love.
May all the love in your heart warm you,
Gabriella Hartwell
http://www.EmergingSoul.com
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
Amazon link where you can read the description of the book as well as review it as suggested above:
(https://www.amazon.com/Find-Your-Soul-Mate-Searching/dp/061523853X)

Take good care of yourself,
VJ