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Repeated comments frustrating me

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  • December 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm #69580
    heal2014
    Participant

    There is this person who is extremely close to my husbands family, same age as mine and attending graduate school. The moment she got to know that I have plans of applying to the top graduate schools in the country, she looked taken aback and seemed quite disappointed/unhappy. From then on, every SINGLE time my graduate school application topic came up, this is what she would say “You will get in, you have work experience” emphasizing the word “work experience” while speaking.

    She has made these comments more than 5 times (i e., every single time my graduate school topic comes up) and it is driving me nuts.

    Is she putting me down or am I reading too much into it?
    I am already going through a lot of stress at work and am not sure if my graduate school plans will work out and this person’s words are really getting to me. I am somehow getting the impression that she doesn’t like that am targeting top schools and hence keeps making these comments. How do I deal with this? Please help!!!

    December 21, 2014 at 4:47 pm #69583
    Adam
    Participant

    Hey,
    First off I’d just like to say that a sense of humor saves lives. There will ALWAYS be someone that you don’t blend well with and until you learn to deal with your anger and frustration towards them, you will always be susceptible to their opinions or comments. Yes, I think you’re over-analyzing the situation but maybe that’s not a bad thing if you choose learn from the experience. Transform your anger in laughter. By overanalyzing the situation and getting angry, you’re literally allowing this person to take happiness away from you. Is she worth that?

    Who cares what she thinks about you. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at the fact that your ego takes this so seriously. Maybe you’re self conscious about this topic and you feel insulted by her comments. I don’t know. But you do. Take the time to understand how you feel and why you feel that way, accept those feelings for what they are, and transform them into acceptance and happiness.

    Every time you feel angry, take a step back and observe the effect it’s having on you and don’t take yourself so seriously. This is your life. Do you want to look back and remember someones opinion of you or do you want to remember the time you overcame your ego and empowered yourself?

    Thepathofaronin.blogspot.com is my personal blog if you want any more advice.

    I wish you the best of luck and encourage you to stop focusing on things that waste your time and happiness. There’s so much out there that can help you grow. Find it!

    December 22, 2014 at 4:26 am #69640
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Heal2014,

    People don’t like it when their assumptions are blown out of the water. She assumed you were X and yet you are doing Y. You also are invading on her turf. (SHE’S the grad student!) Maybe she hears about it on and on from her family how great you are. Maybe she’s always felt close to your husband to the point of jealousy. Maybe she’s like this with everyone!

    But clearly this is “her” problem and not “yours”, you know?

    Look, you will either get into graduate school or you won’t. If you do, she will simmer in jealousy, but you will literally be too busy to care about her comments, much less have time to socialize. The top schools are the top for a reason!

    Or, you won’t get in and she will feel smug. Then you will have a choice on how to respond or inwardly deal with her.

    And just remember, if you announce a pregnancy around her, then the fun really begins. 🙂

    But seriously, there is a saying “Keep your goals away from the trolls”. Talk about your plans after they happen.

    Inky

    • This reply was modified 10 years ago by Inky.
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