Hi all! I hope you’re doing well!

Something has come up for me recently and I don’t how to deal with it.

I have never been able to be in a romantic relationship. However I realize that I act out a pattern with my guy friends: I become over attached and start craving attention and affection. I am always looking for signs of rejection from them : are they talking to someone else, are they trying to reach out to me or not? Then, even though all of the guy friends in my life are decent friends and decent people, I feel abandoned and betrayed by them and it triggers a lot of pain and anxiety to be around them. This means I withdraw, then chase, and generally just try to see whether theyre paying attention to me at any given moment. What ends up happening is I realize I’m behaving strange and hurtful, try to not act strange and hurtful, become exhausted trying to control my behavior and step away from the friendship.

Now the situation I’m in is I’m on a two week project with a team, one of whom is a guy friend who I only like as a friend but all of these “daddy issues” are coming up. The project involves a lot of work so I have to spend many hours with him (and the rest of the team) daily. I see no choice but to withdraw and give myself space because the distress is too great, but at the same time I’m tired of isolating myself.

How should I proceed in this situation?

With warmth,

M