Hey all, I just wanted some thoughts on the following questions;

Have you ever been in a friendship where after a while, you just don’t enjoy spending time with that person anymore? Did you feel as though the friendship has run its course, you felt as though you no longer had anything in common? Did you feel as though it felt your growth was stunted when around that particular friendship?

What did you do about it? Did you decide to continue the friendship despite the fact you felt unhappy about it? Did you try avoiding that person until the friendship died, or did you take the honest approach and tell that particular friend that you no longer felt compelled to spending any more time with them?

I’ve recently gained insight as to why some of my friendships from secondary school ended – we had moved on to different 6th form colleges. I naively assumed we would continue to be friends and I tried to stay in touch with them but they just wouldn’t respond. I was hurt and bitter for a long time but now I realise we are all on different paths and it’s okay for people to move on. I don’t stay in touch with my school friends any more but I’m not bitter about it anymore – they are moving on with their lives, they have jobs, some have children, responsibilities, and I’m trying to move on with my life. I think it gets to a point where the friendship is based on nothing more than nostalgia – catching up with a person just to reminisce about the good old days (or just laughing about how much we hated school and disliked certain people) I mean, there’s only so much you can remember and talk about, right?

A few of my current friendships are turning into the same ones I had with my school friends before we went our separate ways for good – based on nostalgia. My friends are sometimes like “Oh, remember such-and-such…?” We were friends through university but I don’t feel as though the person I was back then is no longer the person I am now. I’m just not that bothered about parties or rock concerts or getting absolutely paralytic on nights out. People just bombard me with the same old rubbish “You’re still young! Don’t be sad! Come on, have fun! You’re so sad for not coming with us to this nightclub the other night and dancing like an idiot (I’ve done that before, do I need to have my entire life validated by dancing like an idiot in a nightclub one more time? *sarcasm*) Sometimes they remind me of mistakes I’ve made, my shortcomings, people I did not like…This is why now I understand why my old friendships might have ended.

Every time people invite me out to do things I don’t particularly want to do (due to lack of interest on my part or because I can’t afford to do it) I always feel pressurised to saying ‘Yes’. I just need to learn to say ‘No’.

Any thoughts on this? Have you been in a similar situation before? If so, what did you do about it?