Hello,

Firstly thanks for this – I’m 25 and going through something similar this year. Just slightly different as I usually thrive off change. I now feel like I am stuck and stagnating! I keep getting overwhelmed by everything and I put so much strain on myself to accomplish goals etc. But it feels like I repeatedly don’t seem to meet my goals or move forward. I also left my last job that I wasn’t that invested in and now I’m in a job I feel there’s pressure that I can’t leave, but I don’t love the work and it’s a really lonely job and I don’t really like being on my own as I get so caught in my own head. I also split up with my ex for 4 years last year and now I’m seeing someone new. I thought I would want all this change and my life would improve but now I’m just getting anxious that it’s not going how I want it to. I’m getting into meditation, manifesting and positive thinking – which is helping so much, however, I do get annoyed with myself when I feel it it’s ‘working’ for me etc and keep falling back into negative thinking or being overly critical. Anyway, I’ve been trying to make sense of this and what I have realised is that this is a weird time in our lives as so much is shifting and there is added pressure to get to where we want to be or where we imagined. Please just trust your own timeline, everyone’s life moves at a different pace and good things are coming. Just be kind to yourself and each day make a conscious effort to get back on track (even if it’s a tiny steps, it will make you feel like there is progress) also, you aren’t alone – I know twenty somethings who feel the exact same, I also know some that really FELT like this but given time and patience and positivity they are now where they want to be. I find just being mindful and grateful for what I have and where I am helps a lot and reassure myself I’m on the right path.

I hope this helps!

The main issue for me is that I’m slowly realising I have nothing figured out and it makes me very anxious. I’m usually very hands on and practical and I’ve always had a plan, but so many changes in my life have made me nervous and afraid, since life is obviously not going the way I expected whatsoever. I’ve always been a happy and cheerful person and I find myself very prone to sadness this past year. I easily crumble and struggle to see the positive side of things these days and I’m afraid that’s going to be me from now on.

Try replacing every place you put “I” or “me” or “myself” with the words “my ego” …

The main issue for my ego is that it’s slowly realising it has nothing figured out and it makes my ego very anxious. My ego is usually very hands on and practical and it’s always had a plan, but so many changes in my life have made my ego nervous and afraid, since life is obviously not going the way it expected whatsoever. My ego has always been a happy and cheerful person and it finds itself very prone to sadness this past year. It easily crumbles and struggles to see the positive side of things these days and I’m afraid thatmy ego is going to be ME from now on.

It is your ego asserting itself and trying to control your life .. to become you and do everything .. and one of it’s best tools is to sew fears and uncertainties into your real person and tthen offer to sove them .. Thst way it slowly makes itself indispensible and you allow it to run your life for you .. That way lies suffering …

Ego lives in the past and the future, constantly trying to extrapolate into the future (often lookg for bad things to avoid) and using incomplete historic data (memories) to (unsuccessfully) work out how to cope with all the imagined scenarios. That is at best uncomfortable and at worst disastrous for your true, inner, divine self.

Nothing happens in the past .. it happeneD … nothing happens in the future, it MIGHT happen, and any attempt to see into the future is pure speculation .. The only place anything happens .. The only place wwhere everything happens .. is NOW. Try it .. try to read a new book three weeks ago  .. try to turn on the light 1 minute before you go into the room …

Now do ANYTHING WHICH YOU FEEL IS RIGHT and APPROPRIATE …. NOW

You are the master/mistress of your destiny. Start to become present in the moment, and make mindful decisions and actions. Stop letting your ego determine what is right or wrong, bad or good, desirable or not, based on a distorted view of the world and an overwhelming desire to fit in, be noticed, be liked, avoid fear and pain …

Mindful meditation will help a lot. So will reading a lot of the blog posts all over the internet about the dangers of an unconscious ego. You are VERY fortunate that you have spotted the struggles your ego is having and to which you are attaching yourself. Tiny Buddha, Eckhert Tolle, Jim Tolles .. all have plenty to say on the subject.

At your age you have the perfect opportunity to step onto the path of ego “retraining”. It gets mch harder the older you get. The ego is like an onion .. and stripping off the layers, one aat a time, is tedious and painful .. you only have a few .. imagine how big my ego onion was when I recognised it .. at age 60 ..

I recommend reading Eckhert Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” .. it spoke the right words to me ..

however, you have to find your own way.

Peace and love

K

• This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Kevin.
• This reply was modified 5 years, 6 months ago by Kevin.