Hi everyone,

I posted on the message board awhile back in June. I was just starting an internship across the country(the US) for a 5 months internship and I was struggling with that but hey 3 months is next week so there’s that. My issue then was of course I’m missing my family a lot and finding everything with being out where I’m at. That hasn’t gone away and since I first posted on the message board I’ve decided regardless of job opening at the company I’m working for I’m going back home to hopefully work. That is where I’m comfortable at least and where I think I can begin to find happiness. My internship is cool and I’ve been learning a lot but I’m not like ecstatic to get up every day and go in which my feelings of being out where I’m living may have something to do with. I even questioning do I necessarily like the work am doing as a career.(More on that later)

So, I’m a personable person and interacted with people throughout my schooling at college, I had “friends” but I don’t have a group of people that I talk to everyday and we’re best friends. I never allowed myself to create that I guess. I’ll admit being by myself is easy of course but all i have is my family and love them but eventually I have to create my own. I feel like there is something wrong that I don’t have friends and hobbies and a passion or purpose. I feel a bit lost and have been since I moved and started the internship. I mentioned in the post from June that I should be viewing my time in the state my internship is in as :” Shouldn’t I want to branch out and explore, I’m afraid I’m just going to go to work and come home and pray for November to get here as fast as it can so I can ideally get a job back home and be close to everybody” So, that’s more or less exactly what has happened and I don’t know why. I feel like I’m copping out because it’s something unknown and a setting, place I’m not comfortable in. The first time I ever copped out on something is when my Mom let me sit out baseball for a year b/c my younger brother was still in the younger age group. In high school, I quit a football camp because I didn’t think I loved it, my first job I hated it because I wasn’t comfortable, I hated college initally because of homesickness etc. but I came to appreciate my time there and miss it. I feel like that’s a bad trend forming there.

Back to my purpose I guess. I’ve been questioning my interest in my internship and the career path I got a degree in. I’m not over the moon about it or hate it, just kind of indifferent. I have been thinking about grad/law school while still working but I feel like that’s feigned interest as well. The things I used to love doing like reading and I played sports till 13, I no longer do(sports) and don’t have the excitement for reading( I blame college) anymore. I know I enjoy helping people( I helped my parents mostly monetarily as they’ve been struggling, I feel like I’m supposed to do that). But I really don’t know what else, I like sports as well. I just would like to be excited or happy getting up going to do my job, not mindlessly going through the motions.
Forgive me for being all over the place. Any advice, opinions would be greatly appreciated

Thank You, Marcus.