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Problem speaking and keeping conversation

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  • February 10, 2019 at 3:44 pm #279607
    Mark
    Participant

    crawford,

    I am an introvert.  I will suggest two things that has helped me in conversations.

    1) Be curious.  Be present.  Be a good listener.  People like to be asked and talk about themselves.  Ask questions about people’s lives, their work, their hobbies, their passions, their activities, etc.  Make and keep eye contact and be present for them.  This helps being focused on the other person and in the present moment.

    2) Take an improv class.  They teach you about being spontaneous, in the moment, and having fun.  I loved it.  This gets you out of your head.

    Mark

     

    February 11, 2019 at 8:47 am #279699
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Crawford:

    Welcome back and congratulations for coming out to all your family and friends as a gay man. Next to do is to bring out of you the authentic person that you are, bring him out in the context of family and friends.

    You don’t know how to greet a friend authentically. Why don’t you practice in front of a mirror when you are alone, take your time and practice. Greet this way, see how you look and sound when you do. Try a different way. Which greeting do you approve/ feel comfortable with? Choose the one and practice it in front of the mirror or film yourself so that you can watch and hear yourself.

    Next practice with the friend, again and again. If you feel comfortable with a particular friend, you can do the whole choosing of the greeting and practicing with the friend’s help.

    anita

    February 27, 2019 at 5:34 pm #282115
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear crawford:

    I noticed you started a new thread, didn’t get replies. I wanted to let you know why I didn’t reply to you: see my reply to you above, on this thread? You didn’t get back to me. Same with the thread before this one, I replied to you and you didn’t get back to me. So I figured you didn’t value my input.

    If a member replies to you, and you value the member’s input, or you value the member’s time and honest intention to be helpful, let the member know that, will you?

    anita

    February 28, 2019 at 1:12 pm #282277
    Alexandria
    Participant

    Hi Crawford, I understand how horrible this can all feel. Not being present and authentic in a conversation to someone you love and admire. What helps me is just being completely honest about my feelings, and letting the vulnerable space flow. I wouldn’t say you have to but that is what I do sometimes.

    Also, what might help is yoga and writing. I write out my intentions everynight for the next day, I ground in gratitude and I got to bed in a better mood just by doing that. What I’ve noticed is I’ll look back at what my intentions or wants were and they all happened! It has gotten me through and let me focus on the things I do want rather than the things I don’t. (Which is really hard for me I have a good imagination when it comes to negative things but horrible for positive things.)

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