Hi Rogue,

The way not to be possessive about him is to change your mind about him. It sounds like he has consistently blown you off. Once you stop texting, calling, hoping, talking, and wishing he might become better. Let him take the lead from now on.

Best,

Inky

Hi Rogue- I used to be the same way. My scenario was that my then boyfriend did not really want to rush things. As for me, I secretly wanted to get married before the age of thirty. I was 29, we were dating for three years and I felt it was finally time to tie the knot. He did not think so. As a last resort, I bought this book that someone on BetterHelp mentioned about how to get him to want to marry you. Basically what it involved was not answering all his phone calls, playing a little bit hard to get and also saying no if he asks you out the same day. Like, if it was Monday morning and at lunch he asked you out to dinner. Apparently, ‘having other plans’ will cause him to yearn for you better. Well, it worked and here I am today, married to him 🙂 P.S. very cool username..  By the way, I was feeling as if I was almost going to suffer from clinical depression when things turned around for me! lol

Dear Rogue,

in the last message you said that you text him once a week asking how he is doing. If I understood correctly, there may even be a week without communication, which is a long period of time.

If you like someone a lot or are in love, it is natural to keep connecting often. It sounds that either he is really S L O W or does not have such feelings that you have. Either way you feel frustrated and he feels pressured.

It is your right to have a close relationship that moves forward. It will happen with or without him (meaning someone else).

• If I were you, I would tell him about the frustration. Maybe he could understand your point of view and seriously consider his feelings. Right now it is very casual for him. If he realizes that he has deep feelings towards you and believes in you two, he will be able to “speed” himself a little so that both of you can see the relationship growing and progressing. Or he will set you free so that you are in a position to find love elsewhere.