On the Brink of homelessness

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This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by Inky.

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May 8, 2018 at 11:04 am #206333

Selena
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*Trigger warning*

I am really scared because my lease is ending and I am on the brink of homelessness. My awful job fired me even though I tried explaining to them my health related issues. I am going to end up living in my car in a week or so, and I have never felt so hopeless. My dad won’t or can’t help me and I do not want to tell my mom anything. I have been trying to look for jobs but I do not know what to do.

I been looking at transitional homes, but the reviews are bad. I got in contact with a therapist, but ever since I lost my job I have been applying. I don’t want to wake up, I lie in my bed all day thinking of a suicide plan and ways to escape. I feel worse than I felt when I was in high school. I feel like I can’t handle being a adult, and I have been cutting again. And I have been crying all day. Thanks for reading this.

May 8, 2018 at 12:34 pm #206343

pink24
Participant

It’s ok, Selena. I can say from experience, everything will be ok.

Take a deep breath. Think of one thing you are grateful for (as an exercise to get through the anxiety), the sun, the spring flowers, whatever. I say that because plans of proper action arise out of a peaceful mind. Maybe it’s calling your mom, or a cousin, or a friend to lend a couch for a couple weeks, or a temp agency; their job is to find work quickly. Either way, a plan will arise and you will be fine.

I could share with you the many, many times I’ve been in your situation. In a moment though, an opportunity for some element of security arose that I never saw coming. Of course I was never calm during times like these, lol, which is why I’m advising you to be 🙂 Every seemingly horrible thing that happens is for our good. It’s hard to see that now, of course, but I promise you it is.

Sending you lots of love and positive energy

Pink

May 9, 2018 at 11:47 am #206537

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Selena:

Please keep yourself as calm as you can. Resolve to function best you can in these circumstances that you are in. Pay attention to what you do, make thoughtful choices, take it one step at a time, one moment, one hour at a time. Avoid catastrophizing, that is, seeing disaster where there is no disaster. In other words, as undesirable as it is living in one car’s for a short while, it is not necessarily the end of the world. Many have lived and survived your circumstances. I have. And so can you.

Post again anytime you can and would like to (libraries make computers and internet available).

anita

May 10, 2018 at 4:38 am #206593
Inky
Participant
Hi Selena,

Look at your family tree two generations up and two generations down. I’m sure there’s a cousin, in-law, or, yes, even your own mother that will take you in. You can even literally show up at your dad’s door. What’s he going to do? Not let you in if only for a glass of water or to use his bathroom? Sleep in your car in his driveway. He will take you in if only so the neighbors don’t gossip about him.

Make a list of twelve friends or old friends of the family. Couch surf there, on a rotating basis, so they will always be glad to have you.

Churches also sometimes have transitional apartments available. Go to a pastor and they can try to help you out.

And count yourself lucky: You have your car! A luxury thousands of people wish they had! Now would the very best time to start living comfortably in your car, late spring. You have several months where you will literally be FINE sleeping there if you had to. Don’t worry about that part. I know it’s scary, but it won’t be intolerable.

Good Luck!

Inky
- This reply was modified 6 years, 7 months ago by Inky.
May 15, 2018 at 7:47 am #207437

Tanya
Participant

Hi Selena,

Thank you for having the courage to share the place where you are at right now, physically and mentally. I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation and hear how scared and in pain you are right now. I’m heartened to hear that you have been proactive looking for jobs, talking to a therapist, and looking into your options transitional housing, it sounds like you are taking some very positive, healthy steps for yourself. Have you considered trying to get your own social worker? They may be able to help connect you with resources including job placement assistance, housing opportunities, access to affordable therapy and even medication if you feel it might be helpful. Everyone goes through hard times at different times in their lives and we all need help sometimes. Also, in line what others have recommended here, have you thought about asking for help from friends or family who you trust and who are supportive of you? It can be really tempting to isolate yourself during a time like this, but doing so can make things so much harder and more lonely, all the more reason to fight to stay connected with a few good people. Know that you are taking care of yourself to the best of your abilities right now, I hope you can be gentle with yourself and know that transitioning into adulthood is really really hard, and it’s ok if it looks far from perfect, in fact, even for those who make it look perfect on the outside, they are often going through a ton of internal struggle, just keep trying to care for yourself physically and emotionally as best as you can. Keep hanging in there, it will eventually lead you to a place where you can have some joy and peace. Last suggestion, if you can, listen to Stephanie Neff’s Self Loving Kindness meditations, or there’s a variety of free Safety Meditations (I really get comfort from RozyGlow’s), they can help bring self compassion and peace when it can feel really hard to find it on your own.

Please keep posting how you are doing.

Best wishes,

Tanya
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