Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Old Group from College
- This topic has 7 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 6 months ago by Anonymous.
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June 12, 2016 at 3:06 pm #107047InkyParticipant
OK, here’s the obligatory Back Story ~
There was a group of six friends who bonded together instantly Freshman Year of college. It was very “Friends”.
The middle of their Sophomore year I joined their group because I was dating one of them, who I’ll call my College Boy Friend (C.B.F.). The other people in the group I’ll call F., D., T., C., and “Azz”.
The group was very incestuous. F. had dated C.B.F. and D. and finally married Azz after Azz went out with T.
F. and T. were very polite to me, C. was nice and I got along famously with D. Azz, though, looked at me for the next two years like I was Yoko Ono, planted there to break up the band.
Azz would make snide comments and even once said, “I can’t believe I’m celebrating Inky’s birthday” as everyone was singing Happy Birthday. Eventually someone must have pulled him aside because he asked to hang out with me and was suddenly/finally very nice.
Well, C.B.F. told me that he was Bi and wanted to explore guys. I let him go, and that group graduated.
You know, there is always “That Group” from college that moves to the city together after they graduate and are lifelong friends. We always made fun of those people a little, but whatever floats your boat, you know?
OK, it’s over half our lives later. Azz became a lawyer, D. became an author and C.B.F. went full circle and just married someone ~ who looks just like I did in college!!
So I’m hearing online all about the wedding and the honeymoon. But what really got to me and why I’m writing is references to “All the ’92 Crew!” Like, the ex girlfriend of two and wife of Azz the Lawyer is there. And even Azz is there. But not me.
So sad that I was just an add-on. 🙁
- This topic was modified 8 years, 6 months ago by Inky.
June 12, 2016 at 3:19 pm #107050AnonymousGuestDear Inky:
Best of Inky’s humor, right here. Azz, of course you’ll call him Azz. And of course he ended up being a lawyer (this is so classically funny, is this for real?)
Your last post, the one I tried to answer but my post didn’t take because of website dysfunction was about the friend at the store who dropped you and suggested to have the deck card project with someone else, similar theme to this one.
I have no experience with group dynamics, really, too much to follow, who is related to whom and who did what to whom… In college, I had no friends there, not individuals and not a group. So I have nothing to offer here. And you posted no question, not here and not in the last thread before that, as far as I remember…?
anita
June 12, 2016 at 3:22 pm #107051InkyParticipantI mean, there’s no question, because what can you say?? And yes, they’re both all true. Truth is stranger than fiction.
I guess the chickens are coming home to roost in a sense. I’ve always been OK being independent, but hate being excluded when there should have been inclusion.
Just had to emote, I guess.
Any words of wisdom always welcome.
June 12, 2016 at 3:35 pm #107053AnonymousGuestDear Inky:
Azz had a problem with you, that is why he earned your title, Azz. He didn’t like you, looked at you like the group enemy, the yoko ono factor. That could very well be the reason you were excluded?
anita
June 12, 2016 at 4:17 pm #107054InkyParticipantYou are right. I feel like “Richard” in “Friends”. Or that I entered in the middle of Season 2 and left in the middle of Season 4. (It is now Season 28.)
I can’t help wondering if Azz made snarky comments to and in front of The Bride during the wedding.
June 12, 2016 at 6:53 pm #107065AnonymousGuestDear Inky:
I know the hurt of being excluded, not liked, not approved of. I very recently experienced someone openly expressing his dislike of me, not with words but by simply ignoring me, blatantly, clearly intentionally. It sure bothered me a whole lot. So I had my own experience recently with a heavy duty Azz and so, my sympathy. It made me think… we are always vulnerable, we never grow out of being hurt when disliked, rejected, excluded.
anita
June 13, 2016 at 4:58 am #107107InkyParticipantSomeone wrote to me “People are funny”.. Don’t let the bastards get you down Anita!!.. I have to think of that quote everyday now. 🙁
June 13, 2016 at 7:33 am #107112AnonymousGuestDear Inky:
Thank you. The Azz in my story expressed his anger, his hostility toward me in a very clear, loud way without a single word directed at me, without a look directed at me or any act but simply by exclusion. Quite powerful, as we are herd animals by origin and very much in practice, still. When a herd animal, like an elk, is excluded from the herd, it is a death sentence. Hence the evolutionary background of exclusion…
anita
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