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Obsessive Thoughts

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  • October 28, 2015 at 7:02 pm #86341
    jock
    Participant

    Occasionally I get these obsessive thoughts which on reflection are totally irrational but are capable of upsetting my day.
    Example:
    yesterday in a coffee shop alone reading a newspaper. Suddenly I get this thought that the coffee shop staff want to kick me out of there. For some reason I have been rude to them or have offended them or another customer. I look at the nearest waitress and my thought is “confirmed”. She looks angry and obviously hopes I’ll leave soon so I think to myself “maybe I should leave before they ask me to leave”.
    I left about 5 minutes after the thought.
    I just give this example as I know I am not the only one who gets these thoughts, these lapses of sanity. I make no claims to having my act altogether. I give advice here to people as if I know better but really I’m struggling as much as anyone. I meditate usually about 20 minutes a day but can still be vulnerable to these minor setbacks.
    So are any of you getting similar irrational thoughts? It is kind of humorous in a way too I admit. 🙂

    October 29, 2015 at 4:39 am #86363
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi jack,

    Oh sure! I’m the worst for obsessive thoughts. I liken it to a dog worrying a chew toy, or a cat gnawing on carpet tassels. I had a cat that would unthinkingly gnaw on them a few minutes a day. Well five years later the habit was broken as there were no more tassels left!! (Yes I fed her LOL).

    It’s only when it interferes with everyday life that it becomes a problem.

    The coffee shop scene could also be indicative of social anxiety disorder. Look, either you truly offended someone by being rude, or you merely thought you did. And so what if they wanted you to leave? Were you afraid of them creating a scene if they kicked you out? I know it’s just one example, but it pertains to every time you go out of the house.

    I say we both create To Do lists and concentrate on the lists. Then we can ruminate when we get home to calm ourselves down!! (Or wind ourselves up! LOL)

    Best,

    Inky

    October 29, 2015 at 8:24 am #86369
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Jack:

    It is the brain scanning the environment for danger: where is the next threat coming from… the brain is scanning, automatically, it is its habit ever since early years when you were afraid repeatedly and not comforted. It was born then, the brain scanning for threats so to protect yourself when threatened or even better, spot it before it happens and run away, as you did in the coffee shop.

    Part of you realize it doesn’t make sense, no real evidence, but why takes chances? The brain looks at the waitress, yes, it may be so, it says, the threat may very well be real, might as well leave.

    anita

    October 29, 2015 at 10:50 am #86380
    jock
    Participant

    And so what if they wanted you to leave? Were you afraid of them creating a scene if they kicked you out

    I think that’s it Inky. I don’t like scenes. I don’t like confrontation or conflict.

    It is the brain scanning the environment for danger: where is the next threat coming from

    Yes I that it is overvigilance too Anita.

    October 30, 2015 at 2:08 pm #86445
    Brenda McCorkle
    Participant

    I do this A LOT. Hyper vigilance … yes, I see that. Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t a bit of uber-empathy. Somehow sensing the pain of others around you — especially in this loaded situation, where there are a lot of people in one location — internalizing it and applying it to yourself. The waitress looked angry … you MUST be the cause. Most likely not, of course. Just a thought.

    October 30, 2015 at 2:43 pm #86447
    jock
    Participant

    Brenda
    hi
    hypervigilance that’s the word thanks
    Guess there is a bit of paranoia in there as well 🙂

    November 2, 2015 at 2:11 am #86557
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I like the scanning for threats thing.

    In my cBT course we look at acknowledging those thoughts because everybody has them to some degree and then doing a quick reality check:
    They don’t want me here. They hate me. Ok check. .. have I just come in 5 mins before closing time? Has the waitress just seen to a horrible customer? Haa she just spilt coffee down herself? Did I accidentally ask for coffee in a nasty manner? Did I put mud on her clean floor? Did I forget to smile?
    What reasons can I imagine that this waitress who doesn’t know me take an instant dislike to me opersonally? Is there a chance that she’s cross but not with me? If I stand my ground will the world blow up?

    If you’re scowling at the waitress thinking she hates you theres a good chance you’re sending scowling vibes at her which she’ll take personal and scowl back . Self fulfilling prophecy

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