Hi Ella,

We are all beautiful just the way we are. God does not make junk. For example, I am top heavy, and I get alot of snide comments, (even from men). But, I’m not going to get a breast reduction, simply because of other people putting others down because they do not feel good about themselves. Also, I have been in poor health as of late. They are trying to find out what’s wrong. I am 5’5 and used to weigh too much at 208 pounds at my heaviest. I had snide comments, even from my own father, “chunky” “fat” “obese”. Now that I have lost weight due to illness, I am now called “too skinny” “anorexic” “bulimic” and all sorts of untrue things, as I am neither of those, as my Doctor told me the other day, my weight was healthy. So, it seems no matter what, there will always be some kind of mean comment.

It has nothing to do with you. But with people. No one is perfect. Everyone has flaws. They have theirs. Yet, they want to feel better about themselves and put you down. Pay them no attention, because that is what they want, to see a hurtful reaction from you. Instead, feel sorry for them. Just say, “thank you, but I like the way I look, have a nice day” and just walk away. Real friends would not out you down. I would make better choices in friends, people who lift you up, support you and bring sunshine in your life. Go where the sunshine is. The people picking on parts of your body are not sunshine, they are clouds and people you don’t need in your life. I would also re-evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. If you are constantly feeling bad and hurt, it is time for a more loving and sensitive boyfriend who follows you around, instead of strangers on the internet. Please keep posting with your thoughts.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 12 months ago by Eliana.

Hi Ella,

I have a suggestion that helped me greatly with things with an ex, who enjoyed being on Social media, such as Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Google Plus..we actually met on Facebook. I stopped. I deleted my accounts. I stopped caring who he was looking at, what he was doing, who he was following, whose pictures he was liking. I figured it’s only social media and not real life. Once, I bought a “GQ” magazine home, where he could see it, and had it flipped over to a page with a great looking man. I put a smiley face next to it, like I was going to show it to a friend.

Well, he did not like it at all, and questioned me. I told him, if he could look and admire women in the internet, surely I could admire men? What’s fair is fair. While I don’t suggest going to this extreme, try not to “follow” or look at his profile to see what he is up to on Social media. It will only make you miserable and strain your relationship. Just do your own thing, and let him do his. You will be alot happier, and the relationship will be less tense.

Ella – Life lesson for you if you think someone if going to do something for you to help you get over your insecurities you are in for  a surprise. No one will do anything for you until you address your issues.

If you are insecure deal with that. Meanwhile if you have told your BF that what he is doing bothers you and he still does it like following other chicks on social media dump his sorry ass. A part of being in a relationship is respecting your partner.

What other say about you should not be your problem, if your friends make fun its coz they are immature and why do you want them as friends? Also delete your acct on social media and live your life and love your body.

I find that this happens a lot lately when it comes to social media, everyone is tempted to look at ”hot” men or ”hot ” women.

I have deleted any thing to do with social media, which i was very obsessed too and it was the best thing i ever did. I put my hands up when i first got with my bf, i was doing the same thing as i was massive into my fitness and i was like fitness models men and women alike, something i have always done even in my previous relationship. When i got with my now current bf he pointed out that he did not like it and made him feel ”inadequate”, i found this as some sort of control and jealousy and got angry with him saying that they are just models and not people that i know etc.. until he started doing the same (Obviously to give me my taste of my own medicine) and i hated it. I am also insecure of my body always have been, he on the other hand goes to the gym 6 days a week and has a 6 pack so i didnt see how looking at other men who looked the same as him would make him feel insecure, yet it did. I now totally understand how he felt and so i stopped, you cant help but look sometimes but you have to respect your partners needs, if he or she feels shitty about themselves and you liking pictures of other women/men bothers them then you should stop. Unfortunately social media is the hub of making the majority of girls and women feel very insecure about themselves, wouldnt it be nice if all of these sites could just go away and we all do one big clean up lol.

Blessings x