Hello!

I came across this forum a week ago, I thought the inputs were valuable and I liked the conversations, so I thought I might help if I share my story too.

2 months ago my over 2 years relationship came to an abrupt end (or so I think). We met at work, and known each other for a year before we got together. Before we started our relationship, I decided to quit that job and we, I think, realised we’ll miss each other and had feelings for one another. In the beginning, he seemed to have a problem with alcohol (he was drinking every day) and seemed depressed, confessed to have suicidal thoughts. He was living with his parents at that time. I tried to tell him that therapy could be useful for him and tried to make him feel better about himself. I also communicated with  his friends and family about this. During the 2 years, he had a few problems and fights with coworkers, parents when he was drinking, and soon we started to fight too about this. When he was not drinking we were getting along and I loved hanging out with him. He promised a lot of times that we will get better and he will try to solve it, but then it started again and he became verbally aggressive towards me when drinking.

After a while,  a few weeks before we split, he went to see a therapist. He was very excited, loved it, and was feeling better already. 2 weeks after the first session, he broke up with me via text message, right after we worked together to arrange his new place where he moved alone. In the same day, we were making plans for the summer.

It was very weird to me, as I was confident and happy thinking that we will be happy and eventually move in together. He said that we don’t match, and that therapist told him it was correct to do so. I don’t thing I managed to understand, I can agree that maybe it was not the best match between us, but I thought we both care about each other, and that he is at least my friend. After our breakup, he moved with a coworker within 2/3 weeks in his new apartment. This girl I also knew (they were supposed to be my friends too), she and her other coworker were “best friends” with him, always talking including about our relationship.  She and him had a few weird moments and comments (including sexual ones), where I was hurt, but they all assured me that it is just a platonic friendship. He said that he loves me deeply, that he would kill himself if we split up and things lie that.. Which I think now it is not healthy at all.

My question is, although..how can I better understand this and how could this happen so fast? I really wish he would just have had a face to face conversation with me and be honest.. we are both in our 20’s, I know it is not unbearable, but it still hurts and if anyone has some advice about how I could put things in a better perspective, please do. Thank you!