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December 15, 2019 at 3:09 pm #327727
AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I am well, thank you. I used to love aloe Vera, used the 99% pure form sold in health food stores for my skin. The plant grows in the desert, as far as I remember. It is a good thing the K thing calmed down, leave him in the past. Good to read you are “just focused on that (work) and the kids”- can’t be anything better than that for you kids!
The yoga and goats were awesome, excellent!
anita
December 19, 2019 at 7:27 am #328547
lindseyParticipantAnita,
Hope you are doing well. I ended up not giving an offer on the condo. It is on the small side and the owner didn’t know the age of anything-windows, furnace, water heater etc. So I said to pass. I realized I don’t need to rush into anything. Also after the holidays and in the spring people tend to list more. So I have around a year really to buy and when my lease comes up in March I will try to renew for 6 months if needed.
Other than that things are OK. I have this weekend to myself and I’m going to make sure all Christmas shopping for the kids is done and do all the wrapping. My ex and the kids are going to Florida this Saturday and returning on Christmas Eve. My family is taking them to Disney.
I’m continuing to focus on staying healthy mentally and physically and just being smart in life. Talk to you soon.
Lindsey
December 19, 2019 at 7:54 am #328557AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
Your kids were in Disney not long ago, but I understand: can’t get enough of (one of the two US) happiest place on earth. Not rushing with the condo is an excellent choice, rushing feeds anxiety and anxiety feeds rushing, so better not rush.
You read quite healthy to me, pleased that you are! Do continue “to focus on staying healthy mentally and physically and just being smart in life”- I can’t think of anything smarter than what you wrote, in this sentence I just quoted!
anita
December 23, 2019 at 6:40 am #329049
RicardoParticipantI think one of the big lies out there is that communication is something for people in relationships.
December 26, 2019 at 12:40 pm #329603lindseyParticipantAnita,
Hope you had a Merry Christmas. Ours was good but went by way too quickly. The kids had a very good time filled with lots of toys lol. It was ok being with the ex, I would say tolerable. I did notice a bit of anxiety a few days before Christmas and a panic attack one of the evenings, I’d say maybe on the 22nd? I can’t remember. Not sure where that came from but no more after the 22nd.
So far things are ok. Work is steady and my mood is steady for the most part. Seeing my counselor next week.
Talk soon,
Lindsey
December 26, 2019 at 12:58 pm #329607AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I am glad to get your post Christmas update. My Christmas was calm and nice.
Anxiety doesn’t just disappear, so I am not surprised it gets elevated from time to time, so “mood is steady for the most part” is excellent, good to read!
I am looking forward to read your next update.
anita
December 31, 2019 at 9:14 am #330463AnonymousGuestHappy New Year, Lindsey !
anita
December 31, 2019 at 9:30 am #330469lindseyParticipantAnita,
Happy New Year to you! I will be working tomorrow but until 4pm and then picking up my kids to stay with me until Friday. Things are going ok-still on the lookout for a townhouse/condo that meets all my criteria:)
Work is very busy but my favorite thing to do is come home after a long day and hang out with my dog on the couch reading or watching a movie which is what I will be doing tonight.
Talk soon,
Lindsey
December 31, 2019 at 10:07 am #330485AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
Good to read back from you, thank you, glad to read things are ok-still, enjoy reading and watching a movie on the couch, with your dog- reads like an excellent plan. I will be having dinner at a friend’s apartment, (need to be especially careful driving back, it being New Year).
anita
December 31, 2019 at 2:09 pm #330511lindseyParticipantAnita,
Yes, be careful on the roads! I’ll try and check in with you tomorrow. I’ll be working but I think it will be pretty slow.
Lindsey
January 1, 2020 at 12:32 pm #330661lindseyParticipantAnita,
Hope you had a safe and happy new year’s eve. I ended up going to bed very early because I couldn’t fall asleep the night before. I feel pretty well rested and work has been very slow today, only an hour and a half to go.
So far I feel like I’m doing well overall without any mishaps really. I feel a lot of this is due to not having a man in my life at all because it only brings me anxiety. I may have mentioned this but a guy I went to college with and casually dated for a month in college started messaging me about the same time I started talking and spending time with K. He’s always liked my pictures on social media but actually reached out and messaged me about 6 months ago. He’s divorced and lives in Mississippi and has 2 boys, 8 and 4. He has been divorced for about 5 years so has helped me a bit through my beginning stages of the divorce process. He’s made is obvious he likes me and has asked to see me either by paying to fly me to Mississippi or meeting close to me. I’ve said no twice. He has always said and done the right things so far and paid for most of my dog’s wheelchair on my fundraising sight.
The thing is and this has been said is that we live far apart and neither of us could ever move because of our jobs and our kids. I’m thinking of maybe saying yes to a visit. Not yet-maybe in the spring or summer. What do you think? Also, he had a girlfriend in college I found out which is why we quit seeing each other. I asked if he cheated on his wife while they were married and he said yes twice, he was caught once.
Lindsey
January 1, 2020 at 2:17 pm #330667AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey;
You must be on your way home as I type this, after a shorter day at work. New Year’s Eve there were 2 accidents on the way to where we were going and 1 on the way back at about 9 pm (not late). I can’t remember the last time I was awake at midnight New Year’s Eve. I am glad you are doing so much better and not having anything to do with K is a big part of it.
Regarding the college friend, reads like a nicer guy than K and the one before him, M was his initial, but I am afraid you will get anxious again, too anxious if you do spend time with him, and the fact that he lives far away and none of you expects to move to the other person’s State, what would be the use of going through the trouble of visiting, getting anxious before, during and after the visit… Way better that later, when you re settled in the condo you plan on buying, when the divorce is final or very close to final, maybe then aim at dating someone local who you are not working with.
You mentioned your dog’s wheelchair, is your dog disabled still?
anita
January 2, 2020 at 11:22 am #330811lindseyParticipantAnita,
So my dog Shelby is a mini dachshund. She is 11. I noticed her walking slower about 4-5 months ago and then she just slowly declined from there. About 3 months ago we started different medications and nothing helped. My vet thinks there is a pinched nerve on her L5-S1 area causing a major loss in neurological functioning. She is not in pain and gets around mostly still with a bit of use in her back legs and goes to the bathroom with no problem. I can’t afford surgery or injections. (surgery may not even work and injections are costly and last a few months at best.)
So I have a wheelchair that she doesn’t want to use lol. I’m waiting until it’s warmer to take her outside and work with her on it. I’m also going to take her to the vet with it. Right now it’s so cold we are kind of in limbo with it.
So the guy J. I agree with everything you are saying. Honestly, he’s asked me twice to visit and I’ve said no. My anxiety prevents me from saying yes right know even if I wanted to say yes. And honestly I’m not at a point where I would say yes. I don’t even know this person; talking online or on social media doesn’t really allow you to get to know someone. I think it allows that person to let you see what they want you to see.
Lindsey
January 2, 2020 at 11:58 am #330821AnonymousGuestDear Lindsey:
I understand about Shelby. She is fortunate that she is your dog, reads like you are an excellent dog owner. Regarding J, your thinking reads logical to me and fits my own. Can you imagine all the unecessary distress that you are avoiding by leaving it as is? It is always better to avoid or prevent suffering, then to suffer and go through recovery.
anita
January 10, 2020 at 1:42 pm #332587lindseyParticipantAnita,
I hope this email finds you well. I am doing ok. Getting some arts and crafts ideas on my phone to do with the kids this weekend. Ella’s birthday is coming up next month so we are also going to pick out invitations. Work is very busy and I really like my manager.
Going next Saturday with the realtor to look at more condos/houses. Hoping I find something soon because the small apartment is getting a little old. The divorce hearing was Tuesday. It was over in 5 minutes. It is crazy to think about it. Really I felt nothing, just something to check off the list of things I need to take care of. Changed by my last name at work and am busy with a to do list for all the bills and things I need to get changed.
Next month I’m going home for 5 days to visit with family; I have not been home since last August. I will be staying with my parents. My mom and I are not really talking but she and my father are in counseling both with each other and by themselves. I believe her behaviors are somewhat complex based her staying married versus leaving.
Lindsey
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