Dear Lindsey:

I am glad you had a relaxing weekend but wish your cousin didn’t tell you what she told you yesterday. It is best that no one tells you anything about your ex husband, no stories, nothing!

You need distance from him and stories about him are interrupting that distance that you need. I feel angry that she told you this story.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

“I just feel off”- there are days like this. I am having a somewhat off day myself, very tired, didn’t sleep well last night… Don’t make an off day a bad day by doing something impulsive and then feeling badly about it. An off day is better than a bad day!

anita

Thank you, Lindsey, I am going away from the computer and back tomorrow morning. I hope your day is a .. good off day.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Good thing you had a good off day yesterday, not having texted K and instead, relaxing at home.

Today, you recognize that “This back and forth with K is very emotionally draining”. You know that you feel “bad.. very conflicted, very confused, mostly hurt”-

Remember you felt these feelings many times before and survived them. You will survive them again today. Key is not to panic when feeling badly as if these feelings will kill you. They won’t. And then, in a state of self control, you can think best about what to do or not to do next. So to not make things worse, and maybe make things better.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

I think that you did the right thing for yourself. Got to stop the ups and downs, so no contact with K is the right thing to do, no more texting him, nothing. Keep the contact with him strictly professional from now on, “hello”, “good morning” nothing more.

You feel really bad, I understand. Is there something you can do to feel a bit better, right now, a cup of.. tea maybe, a walk outside, anything like that?

anita

Dear Lindsey:

What can I say to make you feel better, let’s see… yes, there is something: what K is for you is a hope, a dream: to have for a love relationship that will sweep you off your feet, one that will be exciting at times, calming at other times, joy here and there, sharing, watching Netflix, having the man fall asleep  on your lap, holding your hand, those good things.

Giving up  on K doesn’t mean giving up on this dream. It only means giving up on him as the man in the dream. By ending contact with him, you are making yourself healthier so that it will be possible for you to meet a healthier man who is required in the making of your dream come true.

anita

You are welcome, Lindsey. I will be out for a while. Post again anytime.

anita

Dear Lindsey:

Your attitude regarding K reads reasonable, good thing. The Florida trip- four days including to and from flights, a busy 4 days trip I imagine. I hope to read about it when you return, maybe Tuesday of next week. Of course you can message me anytime you want. I hope you have a good trip, go to the beach there, I hope (never been to a beach in Florida, but know how it feel to get into the water in a hot and humid day- best place to be in)!

anita