Hello everyone,

I am going through some tough times and I would like to have an outside opinion of the situation.

This summer I started dating the most amazing man ever and after only two months we were convinced we would get married at some point. The problem is, before meeting him, I had had sex with a guy, didn’t work out, but we became friends and we had been talking everyday afterwards. But when my boyfriend asked me if we hooked up several times, I was embarrassed (also because I regretted the hook up and I came to terms with the fact that it only happened because I was at a low point) and I lied and said I didn’t.

Now that I told him the truth, he thinks the foundations are broken because I lied at the beginning of the relationship and that I lied because I was in some way still attracted to this other guy but that’s not true at all. And he can’t wrap his head around the fact that I regretted the hookup but still became best friends with this guy and we talked everyday.

To make matters worse, this guy had been making me sexual comments the whole time, but I always attributed them to the fact that he was depressed and in search of validation, ignored them and forgot about them completely. So when my boyfriend pointed out that he wasn’t actually being my friend but trying to sabotage us, I was really shocked.

So now my problem is that I know we belong with each other and he knows it too but I can’t get him to fully understand that there was never any danger for our relationship and being long distance (because of our work) doesn’t help because we don’t even get to see each other after a fight. He’s also getting worried because he says it has been three weeks and he’s still mad about it while I think due to the fact that he’s naturally untrusting, this will take time.

Any help and comments would be appreciated.

Thank you very much,

Ana